Femdom Is Not a Guilty Pleasure

Honest weirdo's of the world, unite!

You want it to be real? Dishonesty is always a recipe for disaster.

Sharing something new and tender?

We all make bad choices - mistakes if you like. Read a story on Redditt about a guy who fantasizes about femdom and meets a girl. She's clearly into. He forgets to mention it's his 'guilty pleasure' too. Go figure.

"Me and me girlfriend had a "normal/vanilla" relationship for about 6 months until she started introducing "new things" to our relation. I always loved femdom and role reversal shenanigans but i never had hope to actually happen to me IRL. I feel bad lying to her. Lying about not knowing anything about it."

We all know any second stupid action cancels out that initial stupid thing you do. It's a bit like multiplying minus one by itself. The fact that minus one turns to plus one is because we agreed on it. There is no such thing in real life. But hey, let's first marry her, then come clean. After all femdom is all about desire not trust or being in a relationship with an actual woman. [5] Fail-safe plan.

"Its a gulty pleasure of mine. I love how she tries to "teach me" new things, trying to be as slow and gentile as possible. I love how her eyes just light up when i accept doing new things. I love how she sees me as just "her innocent boyfriend" she is slowing "corrupting". God, i just love her so damn much.

Maybe in the future i can come clean about my lies. After i put a ring on her finger, i might come clean."

My guess is that there is no joint future and there probably never was. Like a commenter says lying breaks a relationship beyond repair. We all do stupid things, even if you are in a longterm relationship but lying is another level.

Here's another comment that's spot on.

"After I trap her in marriage, I might come clean about being a completely different person than she thought and I've been lying to her the whole time"

A ring is more akin to the end - like when your love is set in stone - rather than the beginning of a joint adventure.

Another commenter tells how one of their clients made up a book club to get close to the man she loved. She also forced her friends to join. And yes, it's a happily ever after but let's be real. It's quite some distance to cover from discussing 50 Shades and not telling you're future fiance that's what you dream about at night.

We all know it's hard to confess being that kind of weirdo. But she loves being a weirdo and is more honest about than you. To me an essential quality of sincere love is the safe space it offers to be yourself. Of course there's a time and place for everything and your beloved one might be shocked to discover you're a different kind of weirdo but love is pretty much sacred. It's an unwritten rule most people live by, some call it pillow talk. Trust, honesty, security, certain confessions never leave the building, no matter what. Even if the two of you move on. Now that's what I call love. Femdom is not a guilty pleasure, love even less.

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Face the Music

Donna Summer - Could It Be Magic

At least three songs come to mind. On the radio is another sad best of the 1980's top 800. Guess who's on? Talking Heads' Road to Nowhere. Excellent choice, just like Kim Wilde's Love is Holy [Don't you forget that]. Only, I just watched a documentary on Casablanca Records, a music label from the 1970's and 80's. Glamrock band Kiss was one of the first to be signed. I Was Made For Loving You feels very wrong. Neil Bogart also signed Donna Summer and disco took off. Donna Summer departed in 2012. Absolutely love her music. Remember the guy who originally sang McArthur Park only to turn up in the Harry Potter movie series? Donna Summer did it better, much better. Most of us would consider the confluence of love and femdom to be magic. Be a man, confess today and accept her decision.

Donna Summer - Could it be magic [click to listen]

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“Ronald Reagan, who helped millions of us to win back our freedom and independence, must be turning in his grave today. Shame on you.”

Such are the words of Donald Tusk, President of Poland after the US Senate blocks bipartisan $118bn bill on US-Mexico border and Ukraine. And he is right. Recently the USA retaliated en masse after three US troops were killed in drone attack on Jordan base. In war you can neither delay nor choose your enemy. Somehow the US still thinks it has that luxury. Because of it, or better perhaps because of self-srving, opportunistic politicians who don't care about anyone else - not even their fellow country men - more US troops will die as the ever intensifying Russian assault on Ukraine inevitably will show. /p>

First Partition of Poland. 1772 division of Polish-Lithuanian territory between Austria, Imperial Russia, and Prussia.

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Notes

[1] Wrote it before, themes generally choose me [single me out] rather than I choose them. Guess the topic of marriage will follow me for some time to come.

[2] Another comment that stands out:"Yeah… lying to your partner about something so intimate is nasty, seems manipulative too. Why would you do that in the first place? Not a good sign.

Edit: the most concerning part is that you hope to reveal this after you’ve reached a level of commitment that’s much harder to get out of. Extremely sick and manipulative."

[3] "So much of femdom is allowing vulnerability and building trust between each other. Lying about this is really gonna set that back. You need to come clean ASAP." [4]

[4] It's probably too late already. But still you should tell her. For her sake.

[5] She is an actual woman with feelings of her own.

[6] And no incels still don't exist. They're a creation of the clickbait press. Use soap, lots of it and speak with two words. Try saying "hello Ma'am" for a change. Miracles do happen. 

[7] Talking about marriage, be careful guys. February 29th is coming up and we all know what that means...

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Second Anniversary of the Russian Invasion of Ukraine

Slava Ukraini!

Women soldiers in Ukraine. Often treated as second class despite the fact they are essential to win the war. Incomprehensible. [Image: Balkan Insight]

On Februari 24, 2022 Russia invaded Ukraine, believing it would be a short war. Last December Reuters reported  that "a declassified U.S. intelligence report assessed that the Ukraine war has cost Russia 315,000 dead and injured troops, or nearly 90% of the personnel it had when the conflict began". It started the war with an estimated 360.000 troops.

Ukraine considers it's casualty numbers a state secret. A "New York Times report in August cited U.S. officials as putting the Ukrainian death toll at close to 70,000". A Ukranian civic group estimates some 30.000 Ukrainians have died. Meanwhile both sides are running low on ammunition and weapons. Nato issued a statement it continues to support future Nato membership for Ukraine. In the meantime a number of countries have signed bilateral security agreements with Ukraine, including Canada and Italy.

I Can Do This

Ass 'Worshipping' for Beginners

Today Dutch is afraid he might be a mere fetishist

"This femdom thing isn't too hard, I'm actually kind of like it what she wants me to do. Who would've guessed?

One of my co-workers is a lovely woman with a preference for tight leather and latex pants. In my opinion that makes her even more of a lovely woman. She also has curves to die for. Dutch loves all women but when I enter a bar, I always strike up a conversation first with a woman who has clear curves so to speak.

Anyway, my co-worker is not only a lovely woman who wears tight leather pants, she's also lots of fun and a happily married mom. I'm not a nice guy but there's a clear line between right and wrong and she is it. Doesn't mean I'm not smiling from the inside when she comes to work wearing a pair of leather pants. It's just so lovely. It also made me worried whether or not I have a fetish for leather pants. And yes fetishes are bad, what man wants to be aroused by an object rather than a woman of flesh and blood? Luckily that's not the case as I discovered, seeing this image.

Not the world's best slave, I have to admit. On the other hand you have to start 'worshipping' somewhere. This pretty much looks like the right moment. I know I can do this.

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Face the Music

Money Love - I Can Do This;

Simone Johnson "is a pioneer female emcee, a two-time Grammy Award nominee, the first British female hip hop artist to hold that distinction." As far as I know I Can Do This was Money Love's first single  back in 1988. If you're really old and still sounds familiair its because of the sample . That's from the Whisperers - And the Beat Goes On.

Money Love - I Can Do This [click to listen]

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Wish Ukraine could say "I Can Do This" without hesitation, but no. Ukraine needs our support now more than ever. Sure one they those F-16 jet fighters will glide through the sky but we're talking here and now. People are getting 'bored' with the war. So wrong. Make no mistake, it's our war as well. If Putin wins, next up are the Baltics or an exploratory excursion into Poland. Even the most selfish European by now should understand Ukraine needs our support. Perhaps because there is this little thing called NATO. Remember the Three Musketiers and All for One, One for All. That's what NATO stands for, including your kids being sent of to the far East to defend Europe's borders if we don't support Ukraine and stop Russia.

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Outsourcing

Crazy Intimacy

Rooting for my baby

Dutch is a DIY kind of guy. Because of that most women think of me as 'interesting' or 'useful'. Not sure how much use I am if I were the slave in the image. Then again, I'm not big on outsourcing either. Luckily the slave is on the receiving end, so that's not his problem to deal with. He is in enough trouble as it is already.

Vanilla-wise erotic group activities are not my thing. Has nothing to do with being shy, it's just not for me. When it comes to femdom I feel the same, only things work slightly different once you cross over to the Dark Side. If you ignore the more fetish-oriented side of kink, femdom to me is still mostly about girl looks into a boy's eyes and he looks back into hers. [3] As they say, the rest is history. Also don't mistake my preference for just to two of us with some kind of fear. Au contraire, femdom is easier with strangers. There might be more pain and humiliation involved, but it means less. But if the woman you love is also your mistress, that is something else.

Now imagine she outsourced the hard work to another lady and got herself a frontrow seat to the show that's about to begin. Sooner or later you'll cross eyes. Your Love and mistress will be emotionally just as naked as you are. Now what?

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Face the Music

Grover Washington Jr. - Just the two of us

 Given today's subtitle you might expect to hear Miley Cyrus, but no. Remember that smooth 1980 classic 'Just the Two of Us'? The 7'' sleeve says it's Grover Washington Jr, which is correct. But the song was written by Bill Withers and friends. Incidently it's also Bill Withers doing the background vocals. Dutch doesn't fall in love often but when I do, I go down the rabbit hole a lot longer than most. Once, as a student, my girlfriend an me were standing in line for a loaf of bread. Outrageous kissing in public is a no no but we did. It just happened. Some say love makes you do stupid things, I believe it actually makes you smarter. Kiss of a lifetime, about 90 percent of people envied us, while some 10 percent loudly objected. Because they were jealous. That's the kind of intimacy I'm talking about here. Just the two of us, even if there are other people in the room and Dutch is in a stockade and being kissed with a whip. An experience like that [kissing/whipping] is only for those who are truly blessed.

Grover Washington Jr. - Just the two of us [click to listen]

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The fate of Ukraine is 1:1 tied to the future of Europe. Despite that EU ministers choose to focus on the Middle East. A couple of days ago Nato's top brass warned people to get ready for anything. In Sweden the threat is even more imminent. Teenagers as young as 15 are taught how to handle a gun. Sweden will send troops to Latvia next year despite not yet being Nato member. Sweden knows it's priorities. Meanwhile the European Union is a mess as always.

Help thy neighbour. But when your house is on fire and his not yet, please prioritise. Still, the EU foreign affairs chief tells Ukrainians not to worry while ministers focus on the Middle East.

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Notes

[1] According to experts 'Just the Two of Us' is single-handed responsible for the 1980's smooth jazz explosion. It's meant as a backhanded compliment. Stupid, whatever music brings you joy is great music. To each his own.

[2] No worries, more DIY porn to come this year. [Yummy] Hardcore if I may say so. 

[3] All very naive, I know. Then again, it is what it is. Besides, think about why you are reading this. Yes, we all are following our rainbow, wherever it may lead.

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Strangers in the Night

Femdom at its most basic is all about girl meets boy

Yet some never get to face the music

A quiet evening at home if only she'd remember to gag him first.

Despite what the 'for us this is real'-crowd claims, femdom is supposed to be fun. Ok, depending on your [submissive] point of view sometimes as much as running a marathon on your 111th birthday but still. [111] We all choose the reality we want to live in. Same thing goes for femdom. You either choose to engage in femdom for real or not at all.

So You're Saying I Just Cry and Boobies Appear?

Sign me up!

Anyone wants to know what happened in the prequel?

Whatever it was, it's worth it. Such tenderness.

Lovely image today and whether you believe it or not, Dutch is very good at liking boobies. A rather unique skill, I know. Very proud of it. Despite the fact, the first thing you notice is boobies, her boobies, that's not what this image is about. It has a unique quality that show just how beautiful femdom can be.

He has surrendered, resigned himself to the fact he belongs to her. She holds his head in her hands. It show a lot of affection. At the same time, she pressed his face against her breasts. No doubt, that makes him happy. But we all know, men find it incredible hard to resist boobies, especially when they are kind to you. As she guides him into the valley, he finds comfort in the warmth of her embrace. He knows this is a sacred moment, despite his blindfold. As she lowers her head and looks at him, she presses him closer. He cannot see his mistress but those tiny gestures tell a story of their own. Perhaps it's some kind of reward because of all the pain and suffering she made him go through. Maybe she just want to show he is hers and what a good thing that is.

"Glory to the [Women] Heroes!"

Liberté

Slava Ukraini

If my friends knew they would call me a fool for believing in the power of women. I may be a fool - but you know what they say: fool me once, They are the real idiots.

So 2023 was supposed to be the year of getting dangerous. Most risky thing that happend all year was that I didn't do a proper back-up and lost a lot of drafts and research notes. Google forcing readers to sign in to confirm their age before reading my blog has also proven rather dangerous. Viewer numbers have gone down. Not blogging to reach a huge audience but once I realized that Google made it difficult even for those who wanted to read my blog, I was disappointed. And of course there was that lightbulb moment where I realized the similarities between George Orwell's famous book Animal Farm and a minority group within "our community." And it's not just real findoms.

Learning the Language of Rope

Today is not about tying the knot

Just don't trip over the rope and guard your privacy. Not everybody understands happiness has many faces

The awe inspiring Claire Adams from Men in Pain in a classic case of learning the ropes.

Dutch had a busy Christmas, so I watched this years Doctor Who Christmas episode only now. The sound was terrible, too much background noise but I do think I heard 15 say that he was learning the language of rope. And yes, in a Goblin airship that would not have been out of place at Six Flags but who cares. Just like you, my instant gut reaction was: finally. Sadly things are not always what they seem [1] and the whole thing quickly unravelled. But what a lovely title for my last post of 2023.

Life, Love, the Real World and Femdom

Because it's Christmas

Just a gorgeous woman armed with a smile and a cane. Now that's what I call a Christmas treat.

It's been a busy year and Dutch is knackered. So lucky I don't have to clean the dungeon with a toothbrush. Not much of femdom blogging lately. Google adult verification policy is a major let down. I write because I want people to read it. It's not about the sheer number of visitors, open access for the lucky few is more my thing. Add to that a hard disk crash where my drafts were stored - most recent back-up is from two years ago  - and you get the picture. But above all, family is the reason for curtailing my blogging activities temporarily.

Pure

Together

Even at the other end of the whip she is there for you

I may break you but it never will break us.

He must be in a bad place right now. Just look at the way she is comforting him. How she pulls him close and the way she tries to alleviate some of his pain. The pain she inflicted upon him. That's not what the image shows but you and I know. She probably didn't hesitate when he screamed. No, most likely it made her smile and gave her a buzz. He is hers and she is his. Next time will probably be worse. But when all is over they're in each other's arms. No way in the world any outsider will ever understand just how pure and unique it is what the two of them share.

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Face the Music

Tóc Tiên - Hoa Cúc Dại

Watched Furies (Thanh Sói - Cúc dại trong đêm), a Vietnamese martial arts movie a while back on Netflix. The soundtrack is really catchy. 

Tóc Tiên - Hoa Cúc Dại [click to listen]

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640

This week the Netherlands went to the polls. The biggest winner turned out to be the far right Freedom Party, who incidentally also want to cut aid to Ukraine. That would be a huge mistake, even if you are just selfish. A free Ukraine is essential to the security in Western Europe. Not that it's the main reason to support Ukraine. Ukraine is an independent country and should be free. Sadly there is this new deadly disease called Ukraine fatique.

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Notes

[1] Watched 'An Adventure in Time and Space' the other day, a dramatization about how it all began for Doctor Who. The program was specially created for the show's  50th anniversary back in 2013. Ten years later and my favourite Timelord is turning 60.

If you think of Doctor Who as an advent calendar, back in 2013, we were - suprise - at number 11 with Matt Smith portraying the Eleventh Doctor. We all know what comes before 11, but what comes after 13? Is it 10 or 14? A bit of both. Tonight the Doctor returns. [2] David Tennant once again becomes the Doctor, yes number 14 this time. It's complicated, it always is but who cares. It also shows just what a mess the Whitaker/Chibnall era has been for the BBC to do something so desperate. What I think is not fair is that originally Ncuti Gatwa was cast as the 14th Doctor but is now 15. Why not let the incoming Doctor star in the celebration of 60 years of Doctor Who. Easy to preach the gospel about how equality and inclusiveness but to act accordingly is something very different altogether. Shame on you BBC.

Ncuti Gatwa as the Fifteenth Doctor

Anyway, some two weeks ago showrunner Russell T Davies  spoke to the Guardian. He said among other things that "scenes in upcoming episodes of Doctor Who will be ‘violent and scary’". Doctor Who returns this month with three special episodes featuring David Tennant as the 14th Doctor, to coincide with its 60th anniversary. The first episode is family friendly, Pixaresque almost. "The second one, Wild Blue Yonder, is darker. Not scary – it’s genuinely weird,”"
"The third, The Giggle, features Neil Patrick Harris as a toymaker and is “nuts, completely mad, frightening”, Davies said. “That one will scare you.”"

Guess what, I'm looking forward to it. Also also excited to see Neil Patrick Harris come on to the show. We'll talk more Doctor Who later. Just one question, am I the only one wondering how Doctor Ruth [the Fugitive Doctor] is doing?

[2] Oops, programme already aired yesterday, have to catch up later.

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Julia Fox: the 30-Day Domme Strikes Again

Can Someone Please Cancel Mistress Fox?

Why is there no ad blocker for annoying people?

Kim Kardashian, the woman Julia Fox probably wants to be.

Not one but two pieces about Julia Fox's upcoming autobiography. One by the actress herself, one by Emma Brockes, published both - and on the same day - in the same paper: The Guardian. Oh, and they also dwell both on the same topic. Julia Fox working briefly as a dominatrix. Her upcoming memoir is titled Down The Drain. When she ran out of ways to steal from her dad or her best friends' dad, Mrs. Fox browses the adult ad section.

“Dominatrix dungeon hiring. *no sex* *no nudity* *no experience necessary*.”

1. Send in a recent full-body picture.

2. Write a quick bio with age, height, weight and level of experience.

3. Describe in detail most sadistic sexual fantasy.

"I don’t have experience as a dominatrix but I certainly have some experience in hating men." Even better, she has the face of an angel. That was in the early 2000's. Born in 1990, that would mean she was underage at the time or perhaps she flunked algebra in secondary school, who cares?

The Guardian newspaper has no paywall, which is the only reason I often refer to it. The above paragraph is an extract of the article Miss Fox has written for The Guardian to promote her upcoming book. Emma Brockes deals with the official review of Down The Drain, which also would be a fitting title for the article she writes. It's like reading how a star-struck six-year old fangirl describes her crush in glowing, if somewhat incoherent terms.