What Tumblr Taught Me

 

Now that Tumblr has officially assumed the title "Titanic of social media", Twitter vainly celebrates and I write a personal eulogy.

If there is a single lesson the be learned it is this: everybody - no exception - prefers pictures over text, most of them being of an erotic nature. Disclaimer: one person's erotic appeals can very well be another one's turn of. Still 'erotic' is a broad term.

There were some 600 people I followed. What I enjoyed most were accounts made up of a healthy mix of kink and other stuff. Not everybody agreed. One user filled her entire Tumblr with images of gagged girls. As a person who prefers gags over chastity devices, I obviously followed her, not because of the gags, but because she is an excellent curator.

Then there was the guy who featured in at least half of all femdom clips shot in Europe over the past decade. Definitely not shy, he posted tons of images of himself in scenes with many famous mistresses. What made it so great is that they were all happy memories for him and he had nothing but praise for the dommes he met. Such a lucky guy.

Boy and girl (no, not girl and boy. Also their names have been swapped for their gender) was an account, presumably by some guy who tried to show his devotion to his mistress - but not his girl - by posting lots of pictures of other women in kinky outfits. Good luck with that Mr. Troglodyte!

Trogly is far from alone. There was this other guy who devoted his Tumblr account to a well-known pro-domme but most posts were of other women he fancied. There are better ways to get someone's attention I'm sure.

In general the female Tumblrs I enjoyed the most. Many of them were an inspiring mix of kink, people connecting and just beautiful stuff in general. Of course the usual caveat applies when it comes to those who offer findom services. Trust me, the average salesperson on steroids can learn a lesson or two when it comes to hawking your wares.

Why this image...

... but not this one?

The biggest lesson however is that your Tumblr, much more than your writing or actions, is the best indicator of where your interests really lie. Mine are all over the place, spending time on Tumblr has validated some of them and educated me about new horizons to be explored.

The basics remain the same. Kink for kink's sake never worked for me. Femdom is about a woman and a man. It only works if two people would also connect without the kink. Doesn't mean you should get married but at least you have to enjoy each others company.

My time on Tumblr also reconfirmed a few basic ideas about the things that don't make me tick. More than once I got the impression that forced bi is no more than a pretext for men interested in other men to go down the rabbit hole without taking responsibility. After all, they obey mistress. Well, bi isn't for me, it never was and it probably never will. My style of femdom is pretty much boy-girl.

What I do know for sure is that I'm into power exchange that is real, but not 24/7. I'm also a gearhead, not that toys are a necessary part of my kink. Each and every image that truly captured my imagination was of a happy domme, loving it. The secret was always the glint in her eyes, accompanied by her body language and the expression on her face. A woman enjoying herself, rather than pleasing him. And yes when mistress and slave are compatible that means bliss for the both of them.

Definitely not the smartest guy in the room, but since when are questionmarks objectionable?

Tumblr also taught me the raw power of casually dressed women, yielding a spoon or a hairbrush - broad smile on their face. It kinda frightened me, the good kind of fear. Being a slave to a dominant sadistic woman is kind of scary. You go through with it because you know you can trust her. Still it will hurt mentally and physically despite the fact that you are safe from harm.

Strangest of all perhaps is seeing all those black and white images in soft focus the moment the shutter captures couples in their most intimate, tender moments. Such snapshots have reinforced my believe that when pain and play is over, she and he revert back to girl who loves boy and vice versa. Whether it was was just fuzzy handcuffs or bloody hardcore, in the end the connection between the two of them is what matters. Most of the 'quality' Tumblrs featured such images. Switching seamlessly between mistress & slave and girl & boy is what people crave most I believe. It also is one of the hardest things for those of us into femdom. Difficult by nature and compounded by each person's ability to process what just happened.

Perhaps that is the true lesson of my kind of femdom, being able to treat him cruel because he is your slave and step away from the abyss when it's all over.

Now that Tumblr is officially dead, I finally have some time to oil my powertools. Boys will be boys.