Modern Clickbait Classics: Female Police Officer Stuffs Her Panties in His Face

Come for the clickbait, stay for the crap journalism.

Come on, it's a story about clickbait. What'd you expect? (Image Daily Mail)

The other day somebody sent me a link to an article about a female cop who stuffed her panties in the face of a fellow male officer. No doubt a dream come true for many, but to me it sounds boring. A quality clickbait newspaper such as Britain's Daily Mail can do better I thought. Below are 11 random 2018 Mail Online stories dealing with kink, femdom, fetish and BDSM one way or another. Not 100 percent accidental of course, I ingored the worst of the worst. Please excuse me for not reading each and every story.

1. The Diet Dominatrix
Been there, done that. Wrote about it in 2014. Guess what, this time it's turned into a TV show, one with actual tears. After all, that's what sells advertisements. Whether Galia is a trained psychologist or dietician. Don't know, don't care. Haven't read the story. Don't care. Don't click on this link.

"Let's fry the sucker!" The fact that I'm a sub and not a dom is my greatest gift to the BDSM community ever. Otherwise I'd suggest putting your slave in that harness and hook him up to a power outlet. (Image Daily Mail)

2. Sex Guru Tracey Cox Reveals VERY Unusual Kinks.
Long ago Mrs. Cox did a make-over show on the BBC, it's how she caught my attention. The program was actually pretty good. People you'd feel sad for were given a new perspective on life, usually resulting in a happier future. Despite the fact that her books are marketed as sex bibles, they are mostly about body language and human relationships and highly recommended. For some reason the Daily Mail decided to interviewed Mrs. Cox. Like I said, haven't read the article. The highlights: cuckolding is on the rise, as is women watching gay porn. Meanwhile feet worship remains an all-time classic. What do you need to remember? Tracey Cox is pushing you to make sex naughtier. All in favour. Anyway read her books, just ignore their titles. link

3. Katy Perry in a Latex Dress
Yes it looks nice. Apparently she wears it to quell rumours of being pregnant. Why would you? Mothers are the most magnificent creatures on this earth, the closest thing anyone can come to being an actual goddess. Guess that's how brainwashing in the age of social media works. Anyway, Katy Perry in latex no doubt would loose the popular vote to actress Keesha Sharp [Lethal Weapon, the TV show] dressed in a leather outfit. link

"You have a lot to learn young padawan." Katy Perry vs Keesha Sharp. Yes, it's all about preferences, but if even mistress, who is always right, says I'm never wrong, trust me. (Image Daily Mail/Unknown)

4. Grandmother dominatrix gets middle-aged men to clean her house while wearing French maid outfits.
Oh come on, live and let live. Granny is happy, her slaves are happy, who could wish for more? Definitely not the first story about people discovering kink later in life. link

Only clickbait journalim will tell you there are limits to happiness, whether it's age or personal preferences.

  
5. 'Puts a kink in foreplay but some women love it': Anti-virus inventor John McAfee says he never goes anywhere unarmed - even while sleeping, taking a shower and having sex.
If the documentary is correct - and post Hulk Hogan vs Gawker, you can bet on it that Netflix won't take on a mad millionaire without extreme vetting - Mr. McAfee is a nasty piece of work. And not because of his interest in scat. He is implicated in the deaths of two people and for a while ran his own armed gang for personal protection. Now he's back in the United States but his legacy, kinkwise at least, will be one of less tolerance for those interested in "extreme sexual practices." link

6. Bachelor contestant once posed in a skimpy latex ensemble, complete with a choker and whip.
Meanwhile Down Under the past of a reality show contestant is dragged up again for the same reason: clicks pay the mortgage. Bachelor contestant who once posed in a skimpy latex ensemble, complete with a choker and whip. link

Impressive how you can write an entire 'article' based on a single image. If only the Daily Mail showed the same dedication when it comes to writing stories about stuff that actually matter.

7. Cirque du Vulgar, an adults-only show.
Yawn, kudos for making it so far, dear reader. "Dominatrix Lucia keeps the troupe of circus performers in line during the show." Don't bother, I haven't read it either. link

8. 'Silly Snowflake' who threatened to paint over war memorial mural is 'on leave until further notice' from her £20,000-a-year student rep job.
This one caught my attention because it's the first time I've heard of a student rep job paying 20K a year. The year 2018 is also the centenary of the Great War in which between 8 and 15 million people were killed. The only thing Emily Dawes can come up with is to paint over a mural because it 'only displayed white men' So convenient to attack the past for personal glory, but how about taking the fight for true justice to the present if you want to make a difference Ms. Dawes? What's your opinion on voter suppression in your native USA? If you don't have a clue just search for Trevor Noah and the Daily Show online.

But that's not why she caught my attention. Look at the image on her desk, bottom right hand corner. "The future is female." If you're so upset about white males ruling 'n' ruining the world, it doesn't make much sense to exclude anyone who is not female from your delusional new world disorder. Unless you don't care about anyone but yourself of course. link

Emily Dawes: "tear down its 'mural of white men' honoring allied First World War soldiers" / "The future is female." Guess there are not that many causes left if you are white [I'm too - and male] Whatever. Let's just hope, one day the future will be wide-open for everyone.

9. Official accused of theft to pay blackmailing dominatrix.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Men do bad things to be with the woman they fancy, vanilla or dark side. But sometimes kink backfires spectacularly. Remember goddess Judy? I wish there was a law against people referring to themselves as goddesses unless they are Moms or at least similarly fabulous. link

10. Whatever happened to Big Brother's first ever evictee? Andy Silva works as a 'tantric dominatrix' and travels the world providing bondage, genitalia torture and golden shower services.
So curious, but not curious enough to read more of the Daily Mail's clickbait. You shouldn't either. Don't say I didn't warn you. link

11. 'I've received a lot of hatred': Meet the Australian soldier, 36, who swapped the battlefield to live with his wife, fiancée AND two 'sex slaves' in a country town.
What man doesn't want a house full of female sex slaves? Never mind that the word BDSM dungeon is swapped for love dungeon and that Mr. Davis started an online funding [begging] campaign so he and his four "love" slaves can live the life his masterness is entitled too. Perhaps the best clickbait of them all in this short selection. link

Something [bad] happened on the way to heaven. Mutual happiness is the key ingredient in any relationship, kink or vanilla. If four out of four submissive women stop smiling, there is something wrong Daily Mail. Don't pretend this is a story about love, family and slavery just because you worship Mammon. (Image: Daily Mail, edited)

Want quality writing? Read a book. I've got loads of suggestions. And no, this website isn't one of them. Even I know my limits. Nor is it a book [yet].