We're all doomed
|
|
Miss Jackson before she became headmistress at Hogwarts. |
Yesterday on the OWK, part IX: Beggars Can't Be Choosers
The first sign of something scary building up, showed on my radar a couple of years ago. There's no mystery in why I take an interest in [what's left of] the OWK, but why would a slave care about the world of Magic Creatures? [1] After all, the world of Hogwarts and Harry Potter is sealed of from mere muggles like you and me.
True, but even the tightest seal is just that. It also can accidentally leak. Ask any of the Wise Goddesses of the wizarding world about the limits of magic and they will tell you there is an infinite number of them, almost all of which are invisible to even the Magical Community itself.
Because 11 is my number - probably Gaia's best decision ever - I have certain special super powers I neither control nor understand. Nor do I wish to. Closest thing you can compare it to is love. Unravel the mystery and it's gone forever. Talking about crimes against humanity.
It's a bit like Doctor Who and their Tardis. Or perhaps the red string of fate. Brazilian author Paulo Coelho probably put it best when he explained how really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.
Coincidentally the line comes from his novel '11 minutes'. Even I cannot make up stuff like that. [11] Don't know what happened or how it works but 11 is my number. Don't be fooled by the wizarding community, most of the time they don't have a clue either. As for those Chinese walls between the world of magic and Vanillastan. Don't believe the hype, get rich by milking it.
It all started with me discovering by accident there are 11 major schools of magic in the world, including Hogwarts. Like I said, the border separating magic from muggles is more porous than the Ministry of Magic will ever admit.
So why me, the world's worst slave? 11 Rules my world, whether I choose to accept the fact or not. Despite that, even if you're blessed with the perfect slave name [2], 11Dutch for instance, sometimes the Dark Side is more than a little overwhelming. As it happens there are 11 (yes 11) wizarding schools throughout the world. For real, not something I make up. Don't bother, there's a reason why I know certain things and you don't. And yes the number 11 has something to do with it. But not even Dutch knows the names and locations of all 11 wizarding schools on the planet. The largest one is the Uagadou School of Magic, hidden deep inside the Mountains of the Moon, Uganda. This famous institute accepts students from all across Africa's many, many countries.
With just one school for an entire continent of approximately 1.4 billion people it's all the more surprising Europe has three of them, despite also being three times smaller. Everybody's heard of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Scotland). The other two are Beauxbatons Academy of Magic (France) and the Durmstrang Institute somewhere in Northern Europe.
 |
| Map containing all know wizarding school in the world. |
Of course Japan has it's own official wizarding school: Mahoutokoro School of Magic. How can it not? [2] There's also one in Central Brazil, odd choice given the fact it is the only country in South-America that speaks Portuguese, rather than Spanish. It is what it is, isn't it? :) Or is it? [4] The school's name is Castelobruxo. Moving up, globe wise, another one is located on the Eastern seaboard of North America - most likely in Canada. It goes by the name of Ilvermorny. Finally there are schools in Russia and Australia that are not yet on most maps.These two are called Koldovstoretz and Boganmagico.
Which leaves two more to be discovered. My guess is that the African continent has not one but two wizarding schools. It must have. At least. Or as the Spice Girls refused to sing, one (have to) become two. Not my best 11 joke ever, but given the news, please let it slide. Most likely the first, yet to be discovered wizarding school, is located near the ancient city of Kush in modern-day Sudan [12], the country bordering to the South on Egypt. The final, 11th, wizarding school remains a bit of a mystery. India would be a great choice, high in the Himalaya's perhaps? After all, mountains are the first line of defense for most wizarding schools. Just kidding, after all yesterday was April fools. The 11th and final wizarding school is not in India, though it deserves very much to be there but in Korea and it's called Hotel Del Luna. Guess you didn't see that one coming. [3]
According to the latest chronicler of Hogwarts' history, a 'woman' [her emphasis, not mine] called J. K. Rowling: 'The number of countries that have their own magical school is minuscule compared to those that do not. This is because the wizarding populations of most countries choose the option of home schooling.' 'There are eleven long-established and prestigious wizarding schools worldwide, all of which are registered with the International Confederation of Wizards. Smaller and less well-regulated institutions have come and gone, are difficult to keep track of, and are rarely registered with the appropriate Ministry.'
We all recognize the need for this long introduction. Honestly, just writing it exhausts me, so more bad news tomorrow. Trust me, you won't believe it. For now I'm gonna tend my [mistress'] vegetable garden or something. Not exactly soothing given the dark horizons threatening our way of life.
It's a bit like being on the Titanic when the ice berg crashes the party to say hello. I'll go down with her, very much OK with that. As long as Celine Dionne finally shuts up. And my love is save. Don't know why it's always about two fools in love but I know she will refuse to go on without me and stay by my side no matter what. Cute, right. Keep on thinking happy thoughts, you're going to need it after reading tomorrow's post. It's that bad.
Tomorrow the OWK announces...
---
[1] Whatever you say, don't say 'beats me'. Greedy slaves never look good.
[2] Even perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Your mistress, no doubt feels different from mine.
[3] Neither did I.
[4] South America has 11 non-Portuguese speaking countries and one Portuguese speaking. Doesn't happen often that one trumps 11, but this makes sense. [5]
[5] Eleven or not, in the end there can only be one. It's why I regularly emphasize how two become one. Bit lame as 11-references go, but if you know of a better way to express my inferior slave status, please tell me.
[6] Not only does South America has only a single country where they speak [Brazilian] Portuguese, the former Dutch colony of Suriname is home to the continent's only Dutch speaking country. What are the odds? Hello to the Spice Girls again.
[11] In case you haven't read Paulo Coelho's '11 minutes' [nor have I], here a short summary taken from Goodreads. Once again, you can't make up stuff like this.
'Eleven Minutes is the story of Maria, a young girl from a Brazilian village, whose first innocent brushes with love leave her heartbroken. At a tender age, she becomes convinced that she will never find true love, instead believing that “love is a terrible thing that will make you suffer. . . .” A chance meeting in Rio takes her to Geneva, where she dreams of finding fame and fortune.
Maria’s despairing view of love is put to the test when she meets a handsome young painter. In this odyssey of self-discovery, Maria has to choose between pursuing a path of darkness—sexual pleasure for its own sake—or risking everything to find her own “inner light” and the possibility of sacred sex, sex in the context of love.'
 |
| Residents carry Ukranian national flag. |
No comments:
Post a Comment