Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries SOS Part IV: The Ties That Bind

The Ties that Bind

Part Four of the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries. Part Three: Here

A fictional tale about a real world secret


In order to be tax-deductible these kind of conventions have to be business related before happy hour starts. Usually a panel discussion solves that. More often than not they are frivolous time wasters. The sadistic secretaries had taken a different approach altogether and engaged in a serious discussion on how to control and own your boss. On the invoice it probably looks something like "attendance HTCAOYB conference 2016" but who cares.

Before the discussion started, several speakers explained how they handled their bosses, not that boss is the proper term given the context. What was most palpable was the enthusiasm with which they told about how they controlled those men. Highly creative also.

Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries SOS Part III: Showtime

SOS Part III: Showtime

Part Three of the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries. Part Two: Here

A fictional tale about a real world secret


Is that your boi? I heard some pride in mistress voice as she said yes.

"Come on slavey" the strange voice said. Keeping me on a short leash, the lady walked me towards the entrance of a large building. Mistress was nowhere in sight and I started to freak out. In the main hall, the mysterious woman tied me to a pillar and left me alone as a large gathering of women slowly drifted by. Not one of them was the least surprised. I felt naked without mistress. I didn't care I had no clothes on. I felt vulnerable without her.

As it turned out later, this was the easy part.

As it turned out later, she was right behind me the whole time. I should have know, but fear took over.

Disney Dommes: Which Villainess has the most Dominatrix Pedigree?

Disney is often criticized for how it portrays women: mostly subjugated with one exception: the female villains. That made me wonder which female Disney villain is a dominatrix in disguise?

Helga Sinclair, underappreciated Disney villainess in jodhpurs. (Image: MPaulaFranco)

Some years ago I spent Christmas Day in Cairo. After I got up, Robin Williams began dressing up as Mrs. Doubtfire for the umpteenth time. My mostly British fellow travellers clearly considered the movie part of a cherished Christmas tradition. Dutch being Dutch didn't quite agree. Then again my list of Christmas movies doesn't include The Sound of Music either. I prefer Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the original one with Gene Wilder. And yes whenever kids are around, Disney is always a good Christmas choice. Just don't mix Bambi with your Christmas Dinner.

True Love is the Ultimate Submission

Today - Christmas Day - a special love story - sad and painful to read. How my mother passed away and how my dad stood by her, no matter what.

To love is to serve and be served. Who cares?

The old man tied the balloons to their house and let go. Pretty good as your back-up Personal Legend, don’t you think so? Just before lift-off the movie Up has this one shot. A pivotal one, where a sign on the wall says: "Death ends a life, not a relationship" Deep down, we all know it's true.  Yet it takes an animated motion picture to make us realize such a simple truth.

Kink vs Love - Two Tribes

Servitude is all about you. Love is about her. In the spirit of Christmas Future - aka tomorrow - I am wondering about the deeper nature of servitude in all its forms.

When love takes over.

Time for some banter these last days of December. Just heard that Christmas Classic “The Power of Love” by Frankie goes to Hollywood on the radio. It reminded me of their 1980’s smash hit “Two Tribes”. Hard to imagine these days, but the Eighties were the height of the Cold War. Civilisation could be wiped out any moment because of the atomic bomb.

When it comes to kink there are also two tribes that often clash: love and servitude. So what if love and servitude would have to battle it out in the arena of devotion. Who would win?

Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries SOS Part II: An Eventful Afternoon

An Eventful Afternoon

Part Two of the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries. Part One: Here

A fictional tale about a real world secret


It took mistress and me years to get where we are now, but I am finally able to completely surrender to mistress. In all fairness, it's the woman - not the mistress - I give myself up to. Doesn't mean it isn't hard or difficult every single time but if you look at kink as an extension of your relationship - rather than a replacement - happy femdom exists by the grace of a healthy, loving relationship.

"Tell me again Dutch: Who is in charge?

Sharing our kink with others makes me feel uncomfortable - as in outside of our 2-person bubble. The whole Sadistic Secretary thing was too much already. What if we run into someone I knew? What if my very own secretary showed up?  However the dice had been cast and I had no choice but to comply.

Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries SOS Part I: The Day Before

The Day Before

Part One of the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries

A fictional tale about a real world secret


There are many secret societies around the globe, but once the world finds about you, it is silly to hang on to the adjective secret. Then there are those institutions that are truly private. One of them is the Secret Society of Sadistic Secretaries. Hindsight is always 20/20 and upon hearing about it, it made sense. There are those who believe they are in charge and then there are the ones who are really in charge.

White collar workers are very much aware who really rules their world - the secretaries or management assistants as they are called nowadays. I have encountered many, some sweet, others beyond bitchy. Some are hired for their good looks and others are simply phenomenal. What I didn't know is that a number of them congregate once a year. Those in attendance share one characteristic: they are sadists. Most people understand how a nurse can be a sadist or perhaps a dentist, but a secretary? Well think again, cause once you step into the office, you enter their domain, which they usually run with an iron fist, without you being aware of it. That said, some have rather unusual methods to support and guide their bosses.

Filthy Shades Part IV - The Biggest Insult to the BDSM Community Ever

Never been a fan of Fifty Shades, but rewriting history with part four of the shady trilogy, gets me cross.  There is no cure and nobody oughta look for one. No excuses. We all are who we are. Period.

At least they got the parental advisory right.

Today's world chops up each and every "life experience" into easily digestable slices intended for riskfree and smooth consumption. To live is no longer to experience, but being able to brag about homogeneous, bland and zero-risk – whatever – thingies. All that matters is to cross it off your bucket list. Whatever it is.  One tweet is all you are allowed to enjoyed. Followed by an endless parade of your 1,000 closest friends who trumph you by saying: "Been there, done that. What took you so long?" The burden of modern day society: aka conformity. Not playing by the rules is even worse. Haven't swam in boiling hot lava before the age of ten? Your life is over before it begins. Jump into an active volcano and just get it over with.

Modern Day Slavery - 11 Articles

December 02 is the annual  International Day for the Abolition of Slavery. Me so [real] horny gets boring after a while. Once a year I write about modern day slavery and real people, whose suffering is real. This year a selection of 11 articles that chronicle modern day slavery.

Slavery, a 21st century evil

The freedom to make your own choices - especially when it comes to playing games, no matter how weird they are - is a privilege. In the real world millions of people live in terrible conditions that are so bad that they are referred to as modern day slaves. This June I wrote about a newspaper article stating that there are 17.500 modern slaves in the Netherlands. I was shocked.


We close our eyes
Western governments and its people have closed their eyes for too long when it comes to modern day slavery. The first International Day for the Abolition of Slavery was celebrated just 30 years ago. Once a year, on December 02 - International Day for the Abolition of Slavery - I write about slavery in the real world. This year I selected 11 articles that chronicle modern day slavery. So please, next time when you proudly proclaim "for us it's real", think about what you say.

Even in the "civilized' world - our world.

Big Bang Theory goes BDSM

Season 10 of The Big Bang Theory features a short dungeon clip, that was dropped from the final cut, because advertisers objected.

Too obvious., the smart guy tied up and the sexy girl plays the dominant role.

Some two years ago I wrote about the US sitcom The Big Bang Theory about four guys know all about science and nothing about life. Then I realised something odd. All men were in a D/s relationship without knowing.

The Beast Yapoo II: Absolute Existence - Mistress Naomi Asano

Naomi Asano is the founder of Yapoo, the legendary Japanese femdom video label. A repost of two lengthy translations found elsewhere that capture the essence of mistress Naomi's philosophy. Hint: it is not about boy worships girl. It has something to do with human cattle.

Few mistresses will ever rise to the level of femdom royalty. No need to be famous. There is a simple reason for that. In the end it is all about the woman - not the domme. Only a few women – not dommes - have what it takes. I once met one of them. Don’t know if slaves are allowed to be happy. If not I’m the world’s biggest sinner. She left her mark on me, forever – on the inside that is. No-one will ever know – how poetic – just the two of us. Then again, it’s the inside that counts, don’t you agree?

Clara Oswald - The Impossible Girl in Full Control

Now that the new Doctor Who sidekick has been introduced it is time to look back on Clara Oswald and how the impossible girl - and not the Doctor - is in full control. Still not a fan though.

From the 2013 Doctor Who Episode "Bells of Saint John"

As of 2017 Pearl Mackie will be Doctor Who’s new companion. The character she plays is funny and geeky and vulnerable. There’s a goofiness to her and a big heart. She gets things wrong, she has a temper. Apart from Theresa May becoming PM, no other appointment of a British woman this year has excited so much fuss.

Kink is about fun. Odd fun, incomprehensebable fun, but fun nonetheless.  Some take their kink to serious and can't separate it from real life. You know the ones who keep nagging  about "for us it is real"{ Now really? Come on!)

One Woman Standing Up Against Injustice

Another shooting, another protest. Who keeps track? The truth is no longer relevant. In recent events, one woman stood out: Mrs. Ieisha Evans

The only danger Mrs. Ieisha Evans posses is the truth. Scary stuff and so on if you are a bad guy.

OK, I made up that headline because it sounds right. A few weeks ago I wrote about how in the end nobody wins. My question is plain and simple. Why arrest a woman who poses no threat, whichever way you look at it. It ain't wrong, it's plain evil. Coming from a Caucasian male, that means things are bad, as is bad beyond repair. Let's hope I'm wrong.

I'm all-right. I'll always be. Caucasian male with a three piece suit to spare and so on. But what about the people I love? What if she were my daughter? Yes I'd be proud of her. I'd also be terribly scared. Not only because she has to live in a dishonest world where checks and balances are only for those who fit the profile. Find yourself outside of the mould and you are on your own. Grrr.

The Beast Yapoo I: Novel of Post-War Japan

One of the oldest and best known Japanese femdom movie labels is Yapoo's Market. A lot of people don't like it because often the dominant theme is scat. Such a shame. Yapoo is much more than that. But first: the origins.

Yoshimasa Murakami's illustrations for "Yapoo, Human Cattle."
2013 Exhibition at the Yayoi Museum, Japan. (Image: Japan Two)

Unfortunately Japan is as much an island with its own splendid isolation as the British Isles are. Sources in English are hard to come by and the Japanese language remains a formidable obstacle. That makes information difficult to unlock. It's why this post relies heavily on a limited number of sources. Don't ask me how much progress I've made studying Japanese, because it's actually zero. Despite that I delved into the phenomenom that is Yapoo.

Friday Night Fun – The Beginning

Public play and humiliation are not my thing. Fiction is a safe way to explore what if. I think. Even writing about it makes me feel nervous. Today the first article in a series of posts on what to do Friday night, instead of heading for the pub with your co-workers.

A guy's gotta do something to make his girl happy.

When we met, we both understood she was more into kink than I was. That gap has always been difficult to bridge. Vanilla me and femdom I live in two very different worlds. We all have a limit as to how much pain we can take. Love stretches that limit somewhat, but when mistress loves you back, things get complicated.

In The End Nobody Wins Life, Death & Racism in the USA

Another police killing of a black man, followed the next day by a sniper taking the lives of five police officers. In the end nobody wins. But some loose much more than others.

Not OK. Never. Ever.

Just when you hope, things won’t get any worse, life proves you wrong. Like you, I watched the video made by Lavish Reynolds, whose unarmed boyfriend was shot four times by a police officer. Her fear, worry, sadness, but even more strength and composure, had a big impact on me.

"You shot four bullets into him, sir"

The Farm Boy Who Got What He Wanted - and other stories

Today a selection of news clipping related to femdom. Have a laugh at the farmer slaves, shed a tear for the abused employee, get some non-sexual healing, but whatever you do, don't read the last article.

Guess this is what the hillbillies signed up for (in their dreams)
(Image: Ama K from Latin Beauties in High Heels)

Without a Whip
The first one is a story from 2013. A fake dominatrix lures slaves for farm work. An Austrian woman placed an ad, looking for slaves to do hard labour, a privilige the men had to pay for. Some fifteen responded and two or three took her up on her offer. After working on the farm for a week, they realized they were duped and filed a complained with the local prosecutors office. Guess those men not too bright, they are into public humiliation as well.

Nzinga Mbandi - 17th Century Angolan Warrior Queen Who Forced the Portuguese to Their Knees

One of many impressive people that history has ignored - but not Marquis de Sade - is Angolan queen Nzinga Mbandi: ruthless, cruel and with more than a hint of femdom.

Seventeenth century image of queen Nzinga Mbandi negotiating with the Portugese governor, sitting on a servant.

There is a long list of women I want to write about. The bucket list includes several kick-ass women, such as female Japanese ninja Mochizuki Chiyome and Qiu Jin - "Woman Knight of Mirror Lake" a Chinese revolutionary during the last years of the Qing dynasty. Then there is the story of “Bandit Queen” Phoolan Devi, who became a modern day Indian Robin Hood.

They’ll have to wait a little longer. Today I read a story about Nzinga Mbandi, a 16th century Angolan warrior queen who held of the Portugese invaders for several decades. Nzinga Mbandi was not only a brilliant military strategist, but her life story has a strong femdom overtone. These are just some of the reasons I couldn’t resist letting her jump the queue.

Love is Insanely Superior Serve With All Of Your Heart

Why is a lover so much more careful in choosing his words than a slave? Is it because love is a heavier - and happier - burden than servitude?

So many ways when it comes to being mistress and slave.
Only one when it is about love.

A while ago I found this clipping about a woman who explains her deceased husband never bought her roses. He showed his love with a clean wind shield when it was snowing. She only later realized they were her roses.

I am a staunch believer in love over lust. There is one test nobody ever hopes to take. What if one day mistress falls ill? Perhaps she has some kind of brain seizure from which she miraculously recovers, being herself except for one tiny little thing: she lost all appetite for kink. Would you stay, or would you move on after enough time has passed? My guess: most people will move on in the end. By itself nothing wrong with that. As we live our lives, we change and grow as human beings. Only the truly blessed grow in the same direction.[I]  But what if her love for you is unchanged - based on something much more profoundly than a mutual fix - and yours is not?

Invasion of the Body Snatchers Why Some Toys Are Better Than Others

Embrace your inner gearhead. Toys such as gags and plugs can greatly enhance that overwhelming feeling of loss of control on a much deeper level.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Part of why I’m interested in bondage is that it requires me to surrender unconditionally, deeply and completely – for real. Writing how I enjoy giving up control was perhaps a bit overzealous. Yet it is part of me, not that I always appreciate it. Bondage means accepting someone else is in charge. If you change your mind: too bad. Some crave giving up control. For me it is hard. Once the storm inside my mind slows down - mainly because I have to adjust to the new reality - I cave in. After that I find myself in a different place. Weird but somehow OK. Balanced but not necessarily pleasant, still it is somewhere I have to go every once in a while. Together when I’m lucky. The sensations range from zen-like calm like to complete sensory overload. Fun, happiness, peace of mind and acceptance are just four words that come to mind. Never all of them at the same time of course.

The 1913 Sex Slave in the Attic

If you are into kink, by now you know that reality is stranger than fiction. Remember last summer when an escaped murderer hid in a dungeon. This one is even better and happened almost a hundred years before. A woman hides her lover in the attic for decades, even when the need for that has long gone.

Dolly Oesterreich at the time of her arrest (Source: Murderpedia)

The story starts out simple enough, sexually unsatisfied wife takes lover, because the husband prefers the bottle. One day a young repairman comes knocking and instead of fixing her sowingmachine, Dolly and Sanhuber begin an affair that spans more than one decade. When the neighbours grow suspicious of the frequent visits of the repairguy - it is America 1913 - Dolly suggests her lover quits his job and moves into the attic.

Confessions of a Mask - Yukio Mishima

A few days ago I read Yukio Mishima's 'Confessions of a Mask'. The story is about a young male who grows up in Japan on the eve of the second worldwar. It is beautifully written, but definitely not for me and not because it is very strange.

First edition (Japanese) (Source: Wikipedia)

For some reason it ended up on my femdom reading list. I'm not exactly sure why. Most likely it was this interview with Miss Chloé Savage.

Kochan, the main character, struggles with fantasies of men, beauty and violence. Women are of no interest to him, the closest he comes is platonic love - of sorts. It all is highly puzzling to him. Still it awakens some form of submission in him:

"The trousers of my uniform trembled at the honor of serving as her pillow."

"not a sexual feeling, but somehow simply an extremely luxurious pleasure"

Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part IV What Was My Personal Legend Again?

Part four of my series on the "highly tributed lifestyle domme." Getting medieval on your ass is not my thing, I'll leave that to others. Thinking is much harder and more painful for some. Despite that it doesn't leave a lasting impression. No, still not a sadist, just not a nice guy when I don't feel like it. A self-inflicted luxury, I agree. Even the worst slave in the world deserves to treat himself once in a while.

Guess who has been a naughty boy?

Personal Legend
Being the world's crappiest slave doesn't make me inefficient. That’s why, after cleaning all the dungeons in the world with nothing but eleven strands of hair, I often find myself having some free time on my hands. One time I stumbled upon the website of Miss Martine Phoenix, a New York based pro-domme who wonders why people always ask what she is going to be when she grows up. She does what she loves, past present and future and would make the same choice all over again.

In "The Alchemist" author Paulo Coelho explains we all have a Personal Legend.

"Your Personal Legend is what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is."

Pretty cool, don't you agree? No wonder the Alchemist is one of the best-selling books of all time. Of course being the complicated guy I am, I have eleven Personal Legends. But what happens if you cannot remember what your Personal Legend is all about?

Muhammad Ali: “There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people”

Last month Prince and now Muhammed Ali. 'The Greatest', dies aged 74. Not exactly femdom but he is so much more than just a boxing legend, an icon. He's just awesome. Here are eleven of his quotes:

Muhammad Ali standing over Sonny Liston in 1965. (Source The New York Times)

“The Service you do for others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.”
― Muhammad Ali

“I'm a fighter. I believe in the eye-for-an-eye business. I'm no cheek turner. I got no respect for a man who won't hit back. You kill my dog, you better hide your cat.”
― Muhammad Ali

Modern Day Slaves in the Netherlands

Yesterday I read an article from Dutchnews.nl (never mind their English) on the shockingly large number of modern day slaves in the Netherlands.

The outlook is bleak (Image: 2016 Global Slavery Index)

Then
Slavery has a long tradition in the low countries, but always out of sight. The worlds first multinational was the VOC, the Dutch East India company. Two main sources of income were the colonies and the slave trade, intricably linked. A few years ago a former prime minister boasted of the proud tradition of the Verenigde Oostindische Compagnie and conveniently forgot all the human suffering that helped pay for it.

Pieces of Margo - Blog Recommendation

Pro-domme by day, serious slave once the sun sets. Wonderful writer 24/7 

Don't often recommend blogs. The last one was the history of BDSM. Even though I'm not into parrots - unicorns and dragons are more my kind of thing - you might wanna take a look at Miss Margot's blog, more than just a professional dominatrix. 

Compartmentalized but also complete and with a kind heart.

Most kink blogs I read, deal with either one of two things. The majority writes about the “journey”, aka “why am I not living the kinky dream?” That goes for both dommes and subs. The other is “how can I fetishfy everything in my life?” Underneath it all is so much selfishness. On more than one occasion, I stopped following a blog because of that or wrote a wry comment. Believe me, just for that, the femdom police has knocked down my door more than once – full riot gear and so on.

Perfume: Of Fragrance and Femdom Scent of a Woman

If you think there is nothing farther removed from kink than perfume, think again. Even though I'm all in favour of toys and hot leather outfits, that is not what femdom and love are all about.

Don't judge a book by its cover.
If you do, go for something more intoxicating. How 'bout kiss from a dragon?

Shrine
The joys of a rainy Sunday afternoon sometimes include running into a superb blog about perfumes. Yes, that is right, the guy who once came home on a Sunday night with mistress' underwear hiding in his weekend bag - by accident of course - not that mistress believed me, is reading about perfume n stuff.  When I told her about the stowaway, she asked:

"Are you building a shrine in my honour?"

Dutch replied something like: "My heart serves as your shrine." Superfluous and she knew.[1] Fast forward several years and I find myself browsing "Perfume Shrine." Oh irony! It is a superb blog. The author loves writing at least as much as she cares for her potions.

After reading posts such as "Is perfume political, you bet" it came as little surprise to find a number of posts on the subject of perfume and BDSM. They are all excellent blog posts and its topic made me think about men, women, love, Chanel No. 5 and perfumes in general. My mind drifted away and started pondering the deeper significance of a man buying a new fragrance for his mistress. Enter the twilight zone...

Why Dommes Should Stop Complain Being an Object of Interest

Grown men suffer more, so much more. Mistress where are thou. Please set me free.

Before (she discovers nipple clamps): Tower of power. The writing is on the wall. Just wait until she finds out about the dark side. Now tell me again, what choice do we men have? (Image credits: unknown)

All men are into femdom. Most of us just never realize. Nor does their significant other. One more cosmic joke. We all look for a compatible partner, one that makes us happy. When we do, we discover nothing matters more than making them happy. Even if their happiness is not necessarily ours. And yes for dommes that spells the difference between mere suffering and happy suffering. Now try to explain that E. L. James.

Yes there are twenty men for each prospective domme. Now assume you are man and plain vanilla. You also are over 25 or 30. As a kid the main reason your 16 year old self hated secondary school was the girl you fancied had an 18 year old boyfriend who owned a car. Only two more years...

Where Femdom Meets Art

Art is about the beauty of happiness. So is femdom. Beauty is where the two of them meet, a concept more often than not that is hard to grasp. Some images.

A classic femdom image, which to me says art. (Credits unknown)

By itself not necessarily a force for good, creativity is a tool, used and abused by many to get their message across - or stay in power. The power of creativity not only serves sales people, artists and oppressionists, but people from every walk of live. That, in the end, makes it a force for anything that is considered worthwhile and benevolent.

Jian Ghomeshi Not Guilty on 5 Counts of Sexual Assault

Last March in the first of two sexual assault trials, Mr. Ghomeshi was acquitted of all charges. A second trial that addresses a complaint of a co-worker is set to begin on June 6.

Mr. Ghomeshi leaves court with his lawyer. (Image: The Guardian)

Initially Mr. Ghomeshi was charged with eight counts of sexual assault. He has been acquitted of five of them now. Two more were dropped by the prosecution citing a low chance of conviction. The second trial will begin in two weeks time.

Even after the ruling the case remains highly controversial. A good indicator is usually the various ways the press reports about it. CBC, Mr. Ghomeshi's former employer writes about the ruling:

"Judge William Horkins, in a searing rebuke of the complainants, said that their "deceptive and manipulative" evidence raised a reasonable doubt in the guilt of Ghomeshi."

Highly Tributed Lifestyle Domme Part III Disagree with Miss P

In this third installment of the "highly tributed lifestyle domme" I write at length about what got me so cross in the first place. Why anybody explains, she is not into pro-domming, is a rather curious question. It also is the author's prerogative to write about anything she wants. Nobody would ever dream about writing something like this about dentists - which is kind of the same - and that is before the lawyers come in. So why is OK to disrespect pro-dommes?

Of course it only happens when you feel so dominant.

1.    Why?
One day, some years ago I was as high on a happy vibe as I’ll ever be, I finished my writing with some scathing comment on just how useless management consultants really are. Advising a business is all about making money from problems no-one else considered an issue before. I was reminded of just that when I read Miss Pearl’s post.

For a while now I’ve been researching the 20-1 domme deficit. It’s how I ran into Miss Pearl, explaining why she’ll never be a pro-domme. Why does anyone feel the need to explain two unrelated things? It is as silly as me writing about why I’ll never be a pro-rebel. And yes that is funny!

The preliminary results of my research seem to indicate kink-oriented women and men look for something different in a partner. A bit contentious but most likely it goes back to fundamental differences between men and women, aka Venus vs Mars.

Portrait of Harriet Tubman to Grace $20 Bill

On April 20 the US Treasury announced its decision that Harriet Tubman, the anti-slavery campaigner, is set to appear on the front of the $20 bill, becoming the first woman to be the face of a bill of US currency.

Reallife superheroes are priceless.

Slaves who own dishwashers are underrated, whether they’re owned or not. Time flies anyway, so why waste it? I wanted to write about the new $20 bill before, but today seems equally apt. May 5 is Liberation Day in the Netherlands. We Dutch celebrate the end of World War II. On top of that it is Ascension Day.