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| A guy's gotta do something to make his girl happy. |
When we met, we both understood she was more into kink than I was. That gap has always been difficult to bridge. Vanilla me and femdom I live in two very different worlds. We all have a limit as to how much pain we can take. Love stretches that limit somewhat, but when mistress loves you back, things get complicated.
Kink to me always meant the two of us. A mistress-slave relationship in essence is no more than a tangled get-together between a woman and a man. There is no room for other people – especially not men - in a mistress-slave relationship. I don’t think that’ll ever change. If it does, the odds of my girl and me staying together are dim. At the same time we all have to broaden our horizon and mistress is rather fond of public play. Humiliation is perhaps a better word.
Before mistress introduced me to Friday Night Fun – her choice of words – Friday afternoons were reserved for drinks with co-workers Some time ago mistress announced there would be a change of schedule. One week drinks with my co-workers, the next to be at her disposal Friday afternoon.
The two of us socialize with many people different people, quite a few of them who are also into kink themselves. When it comes to the latter, everybody knows she is my mistress and I am her slave. We like to keep it simply. Part of who we are, part of our connection. Other than that, soit.
Particular preferences are by itself no reason to be together. Still, one good thing leads to another. Untill that first Friday night, dinner parties and drinks were strictly vanilla. Of course every now and then someone was ordered to bend over. In the process more than one bottom turned red despite that vanilla thing. No-one ever complained though. And yes I understood the women I was talking too were dominant with more than just a hint of sadism. That didn’t stop me from the ocassional joke at their expense. Oui. C’est moi.
Before our first Friday Night Fun, mistress briefed me on what to expect. There would be no set agenda. Just a couple of her friends, all of whom I met before, would attend. Everything very casual and low-key. Mistress assured me I would be comfortable. I do trust my love. Very much so. It’s just that her definition of comfortable – being my mistress, evil, sadistic and battling the devil for supremacy of hell one day perhaps – is different from mine. On more than one occassion she emphasized that informal touch. Huh? I didn’t know what to think of it, until she explained. Casual meant me being naked. Just me and not the ladies, I and nobody else. Ouch.
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| Me, myself and I. Oops. |
OK, not good. Oh boy. Some think it is hot, but everybody knows even a blank piece of paper looks sexy to those people. To me, it means something very different. Kink n Crazy Stuff with just the two of us, sure. Awesome. But outsiders? The very thought of it registered 10/10 on my personal femdom fear factor scale. It really ain't my thing. Giving up control to the one I love is quite a struggle as it is. One that I learned to handle – somewhat - in no small way thanks to her. But with others?
Early on in our relationship I asked her - the woman, not the mistress - to guide and lead me when it comes to femdom. A first for me? Yes. It does make perfect sense however. I love her, she loves me. She has shown that in the most unimaginable and beautiful of ways. So when femdom is the name of the game and you are at a loss, why not hand over the reigns to your very own supergirl. Surrender to the woman you love – aka mistress – and the worst that can happen is a little magic.
Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? Think again. Like I said, giving up control is hard for me. Something that will never change. The pursuit of happiness (hers, ours and mine) requires bold choices. More importantly, for love to work its mojo, you have to trust the one you love and let go. Float and give yourself over to her. Willingly, unrestricted and completely.
To me femdom and power exchange exist on two different levels. One part deals with this incredible, intense erotic experience – one of the adventures of a lifetime. Yet when life really smiles at you, femdom can become something different, a more intimate connection that goes beyond the traditional mistress-slave relationship. A loving relationship between two people, but not always a traditional one. A connection where power exchange, pleasure and alternative sexuality are part of this unique bond.
No fun
Don’t tell mistress I told you this, but never buy a second-hand car from her. She can smooth-talk you into anything. Trust me, I’m living proof. That very thought flashed through my mind before that first fun Friday. Fun is not how I felt though.
Ever heard of Jeckyll and Hide? That is for pussies. This was something different altogether. It was bad, real bad. I wanted to run, but my cuffs kept me from it. A caring hand, hers – the perfume gave her away – gently lifted my head. I looked into her eyes as she smiled. Instant recognition. Part of why I love her. A strong woman, who gets what she wants Not by way of fear and intimidation, but because of her unique personal strength. Somehow that quick glance conveyed a three part message.
The only thing that matters, her eyes told me, is the two of us. Yeah right, easy for you to say. The second element was an assurance that certain limits will never be crossed. Safe from harm, so to speak. The third one however was very different. Under all that TLC, the woman I love – and try to obey, rather vainly – hides a certain harshness. I think it is beautiful. Part of her is cold, focused, commanding, relentless and one way only. That unique strength is something I love her for. Because of that, she is unlike any other woman I’ve ever met. Severe, cruel and uncompromising is the kindest thing I can say about mistress. Yet some things you cannot hide. Love for instance. Behind that stern face of my supergirl, she also told me something else. I would be OK. No promises about happiness, joy and definitely not out of harms way. But OK and with her by my side. As I snapped out of it, the time had come to enter the dragon...
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