Just when you think Halloween is over
Somebody please fire master [furniture designer] Mark [Brazier]
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| Elise Graves and Sasha don't need a 30K boudoir chaise to enjoy themselves. [3] [4] [Image: Bondageliberation] |
"Blurring the line between ridiculous and awesome since 2015." This one is squarely on the ridiculous side. Badass Gemma [Beddington] said it first and best in Saturday's The Guardian: 'Goops gift guide just keeps on giving.' Including free inspiration. I'm gonna be a billionaire soon, but for poor folks like you 28.500 must be a lot of money. So why should you spend it on a Kiki de Montparnasse tufted boudoir chaise? Not even [rich] Dutch can come up with a single, comprehensive argument. And boy, it's ugly. You really wanna tie your slave to that? Better buy a workmate instead.
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| Just having to look at it is punishment enough. |
The tufted boudoir chaise comes with a free non-returnable policy, whether you like it or not. It's also not in stock. Final sale box on the other hand is ticked. Odd, given the fact it takes two to three weeks to deliver, which is also free. Below some other product details.
"Created by master furniture designer Mark Brazier and crafted from brass and tufted black leather, this chaise is a foundation for fantasy. The curves mimic the contours of the body—and it’s decked out with stirrups and restraints. Display it in your bedroom, living room, dungeon, what have you."
Don't! Just don't. Please.
"Curves mimic the contours of the body" because we live in a world of eight billion identical twins or something? Just go to your local hardware store and buy that workmate instead. And please bring me some power tools, I'm on the verge of a breakdown.
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| Six rolls of toilet paper at €18.29 a pack. Bright colours, yes. Bright idea not so much. |
Spend the change - a workmate will set you back 200 at most - on some bright-coloured toilet paper. [1] Goop says it'll help you ascend to the throne. Dutch says, the other 28.300 is better spent on Girls Not Brides. To brighten their future. Merry Christmas everyone. It isn't? You wouldn't say judging from the telly.
PS; I just discovered Christmas is still miles away, no need for keeping up appearances. So not donating to charity, swiping my platinum card instead. Slam dunk, the ugly bondage beast is in the pocket [basket]. Apparently it makes a great combo with the tennis pro vibrator, some cocofloss delicious mint and above all a billionaire vibrator, which accidentally is the same price as the tennis pro toyboy. Remember when billionaire Elon Musk left the house to buy Twitter. That was the day the tennis teacher came over to help his Mrs. improve her handicap Can't be a coincidence.
Just one more question before I press 'buy'. Is it vegan? The tufted upholstered black leather boudoir chaise. And can you please throw in a couple of complimentary vegan kama sutra napkins Goopy? Just ran out of toilet paper. Thanks. Merry Christmas to you too.
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| Free shipping. October only. |
Face the music
It's the word stirrups that triggered today's song. Happy accident, Ginuwine is also singing about flossing, probably not Goop's cocofloss.
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| Ginuwine - Pony [click to listen] |
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Moscow has ordered its troops to leave Kherson, a city in the south of Ukraine, some 50 km northwest of Crimea. US general Mark Milley estimates that some 100,000 Russian and 100,000 Ukrainian soldiers have been killed or injured in the war in Ukraine. Around 40,000 civilians had died after being caught up in the conflict.
[1] Dermatologically tested. What was the outcome?
[2] Even when I get my 44 billion tomorrow finally, I'm not gonna buy anything from Goop. "A bondage harness designed to be untied." Used to be the other way around.
[3] Elise Graves perhaps not, but look at the arched back of her slave, he definitely needs something that mimics the curves of his body.
[4] Also makes me wonder what Elise Graves thinks of this chair.
[5] Still it makes for great free publicity. Can I have the tree house instead if I promise not to turn it into a dungeon?
You are right about the chair. I could source something much more aesthetic for a fraction of the price. What about starting with the Le Corbusier Recliner for a start?
ReplyDeleteI liked the coloured toilet paper by the way...