PhD pitfall meets porn alchemist
Remember how waterboarding was suddenly hot in 'our community'? Bucket challenge anyone? Sadly Locktober is here to stay. Blame the English language. Plus a lot of femdom minions [f/m].
There is this Netflix show where nasty real estate brokers try to outdo each other in selling the California sunset. Imagine you don't have sex for a whole month after which you have to rate the female brokers on a scale from one to ten. Eleven you say? Of course you do. Now turn it around and after an exhaustive month of the best sex of your life with anyone you can dream of - except Ross from Friends of course - how do you rate these women? Five out of ten? Three? Couldn't care less?
Of course controlling someone else's orgasm is incredibly hot. Let's talk Harry Potter, a fantasy world where a magic spell can get you anything you want. Except one thing: true love. J.K. Rowling may be under attack for her views on gender, one thing she gets right. Nothing in the world can make someone fall in love with you. Not beauty, boobies, money, sex or a massive following on social media. Imagine you use a spell to make somebody fall in love with you. And suddenly freedom to choose goes out of the window. Forcing someone to love you is the opposite of love, it's hell's worst prison.
Now imagine you look down on someone's carrot, freely dangling between his legs. Then all of a sudden he becomes the world's greatest slave. Oh, wait, he doesn't. It's because of you - his mistress - that he starts to behave. Luckily femdom has nothing to do with sex, otherwise someone, more sarcastic than Dutch might point out your lack of awesome femdom powers, saying he just wants some. Emperor's new clothes anyone?
Following a link from Femdom Resource I landed on From Mundane to Mistress where blogger D20domme [1] discusses Locktober and the pornography pitfall. It's a wild ride. Locktober is [supposedly] a treat for all. So not selling sunset here. A wild ride, yes. How 'bout a "a whole, glorious 31, non-stop, no-being-poked-in-the-back-in-the-middle-of-the-night, no boner, chastity play month." All of a sudden Locktober is a BDSM tradition. Seriously? It's just some wordplay that works well, courtesy of the English language. Before we get to the real treat, we're served a shambolic treatise on the origins of chastity. Academic pro tip: write a separate article on the topic and refer to it. Anyway, no matter what, somebody has to profit from the whole Locktober saga. You too can be a winner mistress, but only if you don't like to have sex with the slave you love for a whole month. Oops, my bad, these days everybody is poly or something. What was I thinking? That Christianity invented chastity to make it easier to be faithful to the one you love? Dutch is so naive.
D20domme - name suggests millennial origins - has a PhD and is probably an academic. Whatever. It's not what the PhD can do for you but what you can do for science. Just don't ever confuse your PhD status with life skills. [3] If Locktober teaches us one thing it is that lust rules us all. Don't blame porn for your domme skills waxing and waning like the moon.
Dutch has been more blessed than 99 percent of people. I've met some serious superior impressive women in my life, including dommes that make their co-conspirators look like baby Barbie. This happened a long time ago but one of them was exploring the Russia option. To this day I imagine her boarding a plane for Moscow. Right now I hear that little trolley of hers - the wheels doing tik-tik-tik - as she walks towards the gate even though it never happened. The whole idea scared the hell out of me. Never said anything, so not gonna add oil to the fire. In comparison Locktober is a breeze.
She is someone so impressive, the truly strong look up to her in devotion. Now imagine she'd lock me up for a whole month. So? It doesn't prove anything, most certainly not her awesomeness. She is her, more of my desire doesn't make her more awesome. If anything, it's to the contrary. [2]
All a month without sex says is that some horny guys are even better at making empty promises than other horny guys. It does not prove your awesomeness, nor should Locktober be confused with enhanced female superpowers - and please don't speak of your alpha female superpowers. They simply don't exist if you need boys in chastity for that.
“If you use pornography excessively, your partner will become the least attractive person in your life. If you refuse it completely, your partner will be a Goddess.” [1]
"This won’t sit well with a lot of folks." Open mind here, please elaborate. But first tell me why your partner will be a Goddess. Let's ignore the capitalization. Isn't this whole Locktober thing open to everyone? [f/m]
"This is because chastity works. Not just on a physical level, but on a human one."
"What I do know is, your partner(s) will become an embodiment of amazing beauty, mystery, and fascination. In other words, you will appreciate who they really are."
Now imagine mistress divorces you in the third week of Locktober. The next day you fall in love with another woman, so your ex hands the key to your chastity device over to her. With it she transfers the embodiment of amazing beauty, mystery and fascination and you stop appreciating who your ex really is.
Clearly D20domme has written her own keyholder porn and is mighty proud of it. However porn doesn't change into cold, hard science by stickering your 'human behaviour' PhD skills all over your website. Let's bring in Dr. Phil another PhD. Yes, it's the bald guy from TV. I find him a little creepy but that's just me. However there's one thing I've learned from him. Whatever someone says, you can ignore everything before the word 'but'. For instance: I think you're right, but...
Now read D20domme's paragraph on "Is porn addictive?" It's exactly what she does, just a little sleeker. She wants to say yes, but science doesn't agree. So, instead she makes porn look bad by innuendo.
"Even still, I believe the biological connection of real-life partners can get muddled with compulsive pornography and masturbation for some users. You know those men that become oddly bonded with porn stars they don’t know?"
In just two sentences the author tells us that porn is bad for relationships, hints at the compulsive nature of it. As for 'those men' being 'oddly bonded' with porn stars, she manages to bash them both in a single sentence.
If the secret to happiness is serving others [her own words], D20domme clearly is not a happy PhD person. If you ever heard a worse argument in favour of male chastity, leave a comment. Please do, I beg you. Smart women with sloppy, self-serving logic are a total turn-off, one that not even a life in chastity can cure. It also makes women interchangeable to men in chastity, it's just boobies, right?
By the way: D20domme [free capitalization, glad to be of service] considers herself to be sex-positive. So do I. Don't you just love academia where the same words can mean different things? Glad I at least escaped that prison.
Face the music
In 1997 British singer Shèna recorded Lisa, Lisa & Cult Jam's Let The Beat Hit' Em. She's probably best known for doing the vocals on Michael Gray's the Weekend. One of her favourite singers is India Arie. She released an album called B.I.T.C.H.. Makes me wonder if that's where Eliza Rose got her inspiration for B.O.T.A from.
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| Shèna - Let The Beat Hit' Em [click to listen] |
[1] Now imagine paying good money to hear someone say that. There are less painful ways to part with your cash. Buying Twitter for instance. Only 44 billion.
[2] When all you can think of is sex, what do you see when you look at her? That's what I mean.
[3] Great comment this morning in The Guardian. John Crace wonders "Is Librium Liz a delusional narcissist or just disastrously dim?" One reader nails it in the comments. "I've met and worked with enough people of an academic persuasion to appreciate that there is an inverse proportionality between intelligence and whatever we may perceive as common sense. Some very bright people who would push hard on a door marked pull."
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