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Friday, December 24, 2021

Leather Goddesses of Phobos

Teenage boys and their feeble minds 

Any relationship to Yapoo's Empire of One Thousand Suns is purely coincidental. [Or so they want us to believe.] 

Where's all that leather that you promised me Doc.?

OK, Christmas Eve. I've kept you waiting long enough. And no, you cannot fold a leather goddess under your Christmas tree. That's blasphemy squared. So what am I talking about?

In 1986 Infocom released a computer game called Leather Goddesses of Phobos. Sex sells, leather too and goddesses even more. Trust me on that last one. Wonderful Goddesses are the best! Happy Christmas! So what's the game about?

'The year is 1936, and suddenly the protagonist is abducted by the Leather Goddesses for the final testing in the plan which will enslave every man and woman on earth. These Leather Goddesses of Phobos are just finishing up their plans for the invasion of Earth. If the hero fails to escape and save humanity, the Leather Goddesses will turn the Earth into their pleasure dome.'

Clearly it cannot be Christmas everyday but why did that not happen? Bummer. Despite that Leather Goddesses of Phobos is hot, hot hot. Hot I say. How hot? Just look at the screen print below. 

Don't be disappointed. Remember how hot literacy was in the 1980s?

It's a bit like the Doctor (Who?) boasting how a library full of books is the best weapon in the world. Whatever Doc, where are my Leather Goddesses Overlords? The alphabet is not sexy, useful but overrated at best. I'd love to say happy christmas everybody but I'm still waiting to be enslaved by them Wonderful Goddesses aka Martian Creatures. [11] 

Again: where's the leather?

Disappointed? Don't be. Read my [Leather] Goddesses New Years Eve update.

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[1] Speaking of the Doctor. Thanks to the first female Timelord [2] ever, I finally figured out the true meaning of the Tardis. As usual: more on that later. I just had to do that. And no, the Tardis is still not being made by Ikea.

[2] As seen on TV, Technically Doctor Ruth comes before Jody - Wacko Timetrash - Whittaker.

[11] Those Wonderful Goddesses are not Martian Creatures to be exact, you say? Because Phobos is a moon orbiting the red planet. Do I look like a rocket scientist? Who cares. Don't you have anything better to do, liking harassing the Grinch with all that mumbo jumbo?

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