"Would You Mind?"

"My first name ain't baby, it's Janet – Miss Jackson if you're nasty" [1]
"No Ma'am, it would be my pleasure" [2]

Sharp, focused and powerful. Her eyes, the expression on her face. Now that's what I call personal gravity. Janet Jackson performing live in San Francisco during her Unbreakable Tour in 2015 (image credits not available)

If Grace Jones is the original femdom icon, Janet Jackson is her favourite apprentice, the one who takes it to a whole new level. After writing about armpits yesterday and face time with mistress on Thursday, a Janet Jackson song came to mind. Remember, I don't plan what I write next. It just happens.

"Baby, would you mind kissing me
All over my body
You missed a spot - there
Baby, would you mind tasting me
It's making me all juicy
Feeling your lips on mine"

Before we continue, keep in mind, I'm awesome. It's why I never miss a spot - if you're the one, that is. I'm more of a check, check, double check, triple-times-triple plus one-and-one check kind of guy. And I always come back for more. If you're the one (one) obviously. Glad we cleared that up. After all, I'm the perfect slave [for someone (one)]. "Would You Mind" is taken from Janet's 7th album "All For You", released in 2001. Seven years on and three albums later Miss Jackson gives us "Discipline."

I'm waiting.

The right woman understands how to balance strictness with care for the man she loves. But what if she's a Goddess and you're not? Sorry, ignore that question, silly me, Q.E.D. How about being an average dude going to a Janet Jackson concert instead? We've all been there [not]. You haven't had a good night's sleep for the past three months, ever since you bought that ticket. Now that the concert is over, you part the arena with lifetime bragging rights like no other man ever had. At a price though, a small one, your dreams will never be the same.

Do the words "discipline selection" turn you [m] on? Too late, but back in 2008, during Black Diamond's [4] RockWitchu's Tour, [not a typo from Dutch for once] you could be a winner too! Judged a fair competition, all you had to do, was stand out as a huge Janet Jackson fan [m, again]. How hard can it be?

"Security is already aware if you notice they are already positioned in that area before where the fan to be picked is located. How they determine who is picked is up to them. A sign, memorabilia, acting crazy, etc. It isn't staged though, but is predetermined, and anyone who is a fan more than likely would have crazy reactions for an opportunity like that."  [link]

So what was the big prize of a lifetime in the late Naughties? It's something beyond your wildest dreams. Being "Disciplined" by "That's Miss Jackson to you" for the whole world to see.

Janet Jackson performing in Hawaii, sadly the maker of this gif focusses on what's not really interesting.

Killer Woman
Personally I believe Miss Jackson has a side job as a killer for hire. [3] Never understood why, she neither needs the money nor the fleeting fame that comes from being the topic of a Netflix true crime documentary. Perhaps because it's fun to toy with powerless men. Come on Miss J, you don't need to tie them up for that. No wonder her hitman business is not making a killing, Miss Janet tends to overcomplicate things. First of all, don't dress in hot leather outfits if the mission doesn't require so.

Janet Jackson is a charming lady, with or without the seductive outfits. She doesn't need them. Walk into a coffee shop, see a random stranger (Miss Jackson) sitting in the corner, smiling. You're dying to see her giving you that invisible nod with which women rule men for all eternity, telling you to come closer. You get what you want but also game over. Agreed, it's an over-complicated scheme to make a man die of natural causes, but still no need for being dressed in leather on the job as an assassin. The fact that you want to [die] is no excuse either.

Also, be very secretive about your other job, even if it's just a hobby. Never, ever, invite a guy [AKA your objective] to the stage during one of your concerts and have him tied to a metal bondage chair, begging for what comes next. No slave worth the name will survive the ordeal of being teased relentlessly by his favourite singer in front of the world. Not only is that kind of publicity bad for your side business, it'll also cut short your hitman-career, victimizing more than just your next album.

Nobody listens to Dutch. Makes sense. Janet Jackson is a truly gifted artist, blessed with a creative talent that at times even puts Prince to shame. The first time I saw the video of Janet Jackson Live in Hawaii, performing "Would You Mind", it was just "wow." There's a whole dictionary full of words to describe your anger when you don't approve of what you see. Life's simple. Don't like gay marriage? Don't get gay married. Same goes for watching clips.

But what if you like what you see and watch it a couple of times (for research purposes obviously.) OK, it never gets boring, but with every additional viewing your respect for Janet Jackson grows. Yes her performance is sexy but it only works because she is firmly in control. Imagine a stadium filled with screaming fans and you all alone on that big stage. That requires a lot of strength and character, which probably why this clip is so intense and has received so many comments by why women who love and approve of it.

To summarize, Miss Jackson invites a carefully selected male fan onto the stage. He is then strapped in some kind of bondage chair, after which she teases the life out of him with absolute no remorse. The result? He loves her forever. They live happily ever after, just not together.

Miss Jackson's performance is even more impressive than you think and not because it's hot, more on that later.

Later this week it's time for a up-close look what happens if Janet Jackson Ties Up a Man Live on Stage, but you already know the answer.

***

Driving Home Together [Just Not For Christmas]

Afterthought: once  I said to her "let's not test ourselves to destruction." So we did. Just remember, it takes two to tango. In happier times, with yet another fine mess safely locked away in the rear-view mirror, we were back together again. Driving home, the two of us so high on a happy vibe that even our heart rates agreed in sync and slowed down in loving harmony. We were also feeling incredibly stupid and very angry. At ourselves that is, not each other, and how we did it again.

A few miles down the road, the mp3 player loads the next, random song. It's Janet, telling us "That's The Way Love Goes." [5] True and true story also. One of those moments I'll never forget.

If Miss Jackson invited me onto her stage, SHE'd kill me on the spot and Janet next, just like everyone who'd try to interfere. With a vengeance. Overkill? Yes. It's OK, love you too Angel. "Would you mind?" Woohaa! HER answer will always be yes, even today, far apart. Funny and a pretty complicated way to say I love you. That too, sometimes is the way love goes.

And that kids, is how your Mother and I did not meet.

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[1] Opening lyrics for Janet Jackson's 1986 single Nasty from the album with the same name.

[2] Even Dutch chooses his words carefully whenever appropriate.

[3] Make no mistake, smiles do kill. Same thing goes for dimples. 

[4] Gaia is littered with them, open your eyes and rejoice.

[4a] On a separate note: hey OWK, still alive? If you insist on being a real fantasy world where all women are twuly treated like the superior equal sisterhood they are, why not shed your skin and re-brand into something more comfortable like "Rhythm Nation" under the guidance of Miss Jackson? Just hand over the keys.

[4b] If the OWK ever decides to start an outpost in North America, why not call it the Black Diamond Ranch?

[5] Full disclosure, it's actually the CJ R&B 12" Mix. [link]