Fifty Shades Darker

They just had to do it, again.

This February, two years ago, I pitied the fool who got tickets to see the original "Fifty Shades" movie on Valentine's Day. I even came up with a list of movies to see instead. I'm quite sure watching "Fifty Shades" wreaked havoc - of a different kind - on many a relationship. Unintended consequences and so on.

Fifty Shades Darker (Image: The New York Times)

Two years later, everybody is duly warned. Despite that, the movie moguls still believe it is a good idea to release the sequel to Fifty Shades on Valentine's Day. Don't say, I didn't warn you.

With the first of four novels published in 2012, the popularity of the books has long since faded, except in academia apparently. The Conversation - Academic Rigour, Journalistic Flair [their words] - thinks it's time to join the debate. Never mind the article's misleading headline, The Conversation believes BDSM has an emerging future. And no I'm not making that up.

In its view BDSM has become a 'tourist attraction' - once again, their words. It gets even better when BDSM is compared to such adrenaline-high activities as bungee jumping. Because of a few flawed comparisons, The Conversation argues BDSM has become mainstream, with commerce trailing close behind. Never knew academia was such a kind mistress. 

The New York Times, aka The Gray Lady - don't you just love the irony - does a much better job, actually discussing the second Fifty Shades movie. Let me wrap it up for you in one single line. It's a bad movie, not worth your time or money. I'll also throw in a free synopsis. She gets tied up a lot and he behaves like a stalker outside the bedroom. But I guess you already kind of knew that. Despite spoiling the plot, what plot?, The New York Times review makes for a funny read. Unlike the movie, I recommend you read The Gray Lady's review.

Finally: A black hole is an imploded star from which nothing can escape. The second Fifty Shades movie goes by the title of "Fifty Shades Darker". One day there inevitably will be a Fifty Shades part III. May I suggest "Fifty Shades, Black Hole" as its title and get it over with forever? It's bad enough for kinksters out there, without the help of mainstream media.