Femdom Lessons from the 2025 Smurfs Movie

"In Chris Miller’s new film, a Smurf is told to ‘believe you were born great’."

But does this approach contradict what pre-internet femdom stood for?

Rule 34 states that if it exists there is porn of it. Of course there is. Better avert your eyes.

Believe it or not, there are many things we can learn from the Smurfiverse. First off, Smurfs are blue, humanoid cartoon characters. They live in Smurf village, which, according to ancient lore is located in a part of the world, called "Le Pays Maudit" (French for "the Cursed Land"). Believe me, there is not a single kinkster in the world that  hasn't wondered at least once why being happy seems so complicated compated to the Vanilla Way.

Initially all Smurfs were male. And yes their village felt like some kind of communist utopia, meaning everybody is equal, so why distinguish between sexes? Rather silly because once author Peyo introduced Smurfette, all eyes were on here. With the exception of Pappa Smurf, who wears a red cap, all Smurfs dress in white, including Smurfette.

According to a comment in The Guardian "one off Smurfette story was about Gargamel creating a fake female smurf in order to seduce the other smurfs and cause chaos. This plan initially fails because Gargamel made her a plain looking brunette, it's only after Papa Smurf uses his magic to give her long eyelashes and blonde hair that Gargamel's plan starts working. She leaves in the original story so that the other smurfs stop pining over her." Doesn't that sound a lot like "I'll serve my mistress for eternity and beyond on one condition. She has to look hot"? That's lust speaking, not true devotion. And yes when I speak of her personal gravity, hot, leather outfits are a plus but ultimately irrelevant.

Another comment in The Guardian writes: "I'm still waiting for numerous Smurfs to break their silence and reveal the inevitable tales of coercive control and financial mismanagement regarding their former shadowy pop svengali, Father Abraham..." Perhaps there are better ways to serve women and findom is not the way to go? Anyone recently wondered about "Bring back our children?" Don't worry, neither have I.

The great thing about the evil wizard Gargamel and his matching cat is the fact that they were up to no good, just what you want mistress to be. That's also where the comparison ends.

Lots more to discuss about Smurfs, like the fact that globally their name in most languages is derived from the Dutch word Smurf, rather than the original French Les Schtroumpfs, but people have complained my writing is to long and boring, so here's my final thought for the day. In femdom we often complain about the 20 to one slave to mistress ratio. Spare a moment for world those poor Smurfs live in. Both Vanilla and Dark Side, added up, their ratio is 100 to one. Smurftober is the new Locktober I guess.

Anyway, the new Smurf movie premiered on July 28 in the Belgian capital of  Brussels and, no doubt, soon will be in a theater near you. Go and watch at your own peril.

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Face the Music

Vader Abraham- Kleine café aan de haven

The obvious choice would be Vader Abraham's Smurfenlied. Let's not do that. In the 2025 Smurfs movie Rihanna lends her voice to Smurfette, so S&M? Nope. But in 1975 Vader Abraham recorded a Dutch evergreen, het kleine café aan de haven. Absolutely love it. More abour Rihanna later. Love her too.

Vader Abraham - Kleine café aan de haven [click to listen]

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1253

1253 Days and no end in sight, what is there left to say? Europe has failed Ukraine and because of that itself. It's never too late? let's hope so. Slava Ukraini! If words could bring victory, politicians suddenly would become relevant. Don't count on it.

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Her Sacred Smile

Trust Reciprocated

A smile, a blindfold and physical intimacy, all in one image, highlighting the beauty of femdom.

A long phone call with a friend made me both smile and a little sad. I smiled when I secretly realized we face similar, difficult choices when it comes to love and lust. She likes both men and women and I crave vanilla women and dominant ladies who are into femdom. Maybe you can have it all, maybe not. Then our conversation turns into something else. She is badly burned by her stalker ex. So bad in fact that when she first told me, I rushed over to change the locks. Which really wasn't necessary she said. About a month later it has given her at least some peace of mind. No more random exes suddenly turning up in your living room [1]. Our conversation slowly drifted towards relationships and trust. One thing is for sure, you definitely cannot trust someone who doesn't respond when you tell her you love her but don't feel safe with her. No idea how to respond if someone says that to me, but absolute silence screams one thing and one thing only. Run for the hills.

The first time she told me, she likes both men and women, she was kinda nervous. After all, you never know how people gonna react. Then again, what is there to say? Be happy, do what you want to do, fall in love and live the life that you want. Just be nice to others. And no I didn't tell her I like being tied up by strong, powerful, often sadistic women who get turned on by controlling and humiliating me. Very much not the right place but also where would I start? 

When do you know you can trust someone? How much time do you need to develop trust in a relationship? Are there telltale signs he or she is a bad apple? I cannot answer those questions, nobody can. Obvious red flags include your partner badmouthing you in front of others, lies in your face, isn't honest about money, makes you doubt yourself or hides behind lies. Nobody is perfect but if you love someone, you keep one eye out on her and one you. Even then, there are some you can never trust, especially if they are narcists, people whose entire life revolves around destroying their significant other. Some manage to break free after which a narcisist usually move on to a new victim. Together with 'feeders', men who love overweight women, the bigger the better. For that reason they try to manipulate their loved ones to gain weight [zero regards for her health]. [2] they are among the worst people you can encounter. And sadly, most of them are masters of disguise. I'll take an honest sadist over a narcisist any day of the week.

Does that mean you should never be with anyone? Of course not, that's no life for anyone, besides most people are kind, caring and decent people, just look out for the signs. If your lover doesn't seem to care about you, your health, happiness or safety, why? Don't ignore the signs. Each and every relationship is a leap of faith. The best you can hope for is that over time you've signalled again and again to come and talk to you when there is something. And yes, sometimes people fall in love with someone else. It happens, it's not only the magic of love but also the reality of life but for as long as you're in a relationship with someone else, for me, the most important thing is trust. You need to be able to trust them, but equally important make sure they can trust you. And yes, it's hard work. We all strive to impress our loved ones. And sometimes things go wrong, vanity, arrogance, shame, you name it. To be able to talk to her about the stupid thing you've done  [no matter what comes next], that's when you know you can trust her.

Of course my friend and I didn't discuss the peculiarities of trust when it comes to femdom but truly, deeply surrendering yourself to her - with no way out literally - also requires a lot of trust. Like always, when something is too good to be true, it probably is. Usually time is what is needed the most to build trust. And without realizing, at some point you do trust her. Completely, period. That's for the lucky ones and the fact that you trust your love and mistress is not the same as not being afraid, not trembling with fear when you hear her come into the room. But you trust her. And she trusts you. Because of that, whatever comes next is gonna be beautiful, even if it turns out to be one big, beautiful mess. But after seeing this image you will never doubt that even in femdom there is a blessed balance to strive for. But what an image!

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Guard Amarah: Pain Enthusiast

What more can a man ask for?

[Don't chicken out when the time comes to knock on the door of the Warsaw Prison perhaps?]

Guard Amarah at the Warsaw Prison [image: Twitter]

Summer and Dutch has no plans. Too busy. Not even planning on visiting lady Daria's enchanting Warsaw Prison. I wish I could. I try to forget about that wonderful [not so] little shop of horrors but it's hard. Especially when you run into one of the crew on Twitter, who confesses in her short bio how she is a pain enthusiast. [and this slave is not.] Guard Amarah broke me right there and then, literally the very  moment I read it. Direct, honest and no nonsense yet also utterly scary. 

Someone to watch over me? Guard Amarah perhaps? [image: Twitter]

Dutch is a lousy slave who doesn't handle pain very well but all that passion an spontaneity is hard to resist. Honestly for a long time after Warsaw Prison 2.0 opened, I felt it was no longer for me. There is something mesmerizing about lady Daria herself. I read a number of session reports by various slaves after they finished - or so I hope for them - their stay at the original Warsaw Prison. Even though I get why the name Warsaw Prison was choosen, from what I read it was lady Daria's prison, meaning you would get the same experience/treatment anywhere else, as long as lady Daria was lording over you as your guard and tormentor. In my mind lady Daria equalled Warsaw Prison. No longer - and yes she still is the driving force behind it all - but the succes of lady Daria's Warsaw Prison 2.0 allowed other dominant women who bring their very own, passionate spell to the game to step forward too. What more can a man ask for? Not chicken out at the latest moment when the day comes and I have to report to Warsaw Prison myself perhaps? 

Two happy people spending cruelty time together [image: Twitter]

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1237

Almost 3.5 years since Russia invaded Ukraine. And it doesn't look. We didn't act like we should and we don't now. Remember, it's never too late. But above all don't ignore. Tired of the news? Imagine how the people of Ukraine must feel by now. Slava Ukrajini!

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Babygirl

Why is Hollywood so afraid to feature dominant women in kinkrotic productions?

Who is the boss now?

Guess what? The movie Babygirl not only won a prize for best actor at the Venice International Film Festival, which is Nicole Kidman, it also won several other accolades. Dutch director Halina Reijn won in the Palm Springs International Film Festival Directors to watch category. The most interesting one though, is the Female Orgasm on Screen Sponsored by Intimacy on Set from the Annual Girls On Film Awards. And yes the movie won that one too. Obviously.

So what's it all about? Some time ago I heard on the radio that a Dutch director won a prize for her movie Babygirl. So what? A couple of days ago I read a headline in the newspaper that said "Are you dreaming of a kinky sex life like Nicole Kidman in Babygirl? Be careful not to loose yourself when you give it a try". [1] [2]

Both this image and the masthead image are from a group called celebrity mommies where men gushing over dominant women. Sort of.

Turns out Babygirl is an American erotic thriller that stars "Nicole Kidman as a high-powered CEO who puts her career and family on the line when she begins an affair with a much younger intern." My only question was who is the domme and who is the sub. Nicole Kidman as a dominatrix sounds wonderful. Sadly it is the other way around, it's 50 Shades all over with even more clichés than a decade ago. Nobody needs that. Why is it always the woman who is submissive and the man dominant in productions like this? Babygirl must be an art house movie, a labour of love, art that makes no sense. Why else refuse to cast Nicole Kidman as the domme? Or Gillian Anderson for that matter. The number of men instantly dropping to their knees would be worthy of a Doctor Who scene. With Missy as the Doctor of course. Anyway, I'm not going to see Babygirl. Let me know if you have.

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Face the Music

Regi feat. Maxine - Horen, Zien En Zwijgen

Regi is a Belgian DJ, best known for dance acts like Milk Inc. and Silver. Last year he teamed up with Dutch singer Maxine. Her wonderful vocal combined with his bass line is what makes this track so massive. 

Regi feat. Maxine - Horen, Zien En Zwijgen [click to listen]

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1081

It's hard to defend Russia's landgrab in Ukraine if you're trying to do the same, think Greenland or Canada. Never mind that sooner than you think American lives will be lost because the USA didn't stand by Ukraine. Unbelievably sad the West only supported Ukraine with words. Nobody seems to understand their freedom is our freedom and their future is our future. Slava Ukraini!

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Notes

[1] Algemeen Dagblad 28 januari 2025: "Overweeg jij net als Nicole Kidman in Babygirl een kinky seksleven? ‘Pas op, je kunt jezelf erin verliezen’" (€)

[2] Yingjia Fu was hired as BDSM advisor for the movie Babygirl. Wie Ben Ik seems to be her website, not sure though.

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Health Forces Domination Palace Owner to Close Down Dungeon

'Echt heel erg jammer'

Life's one and only true lesson: love over lust. Any time, any place, anywhere

Mistress Denise at Domination Palace in 2019 [image: AD.nl]

Throughout history the Netherlands always punched far above its weight. It still does, vanilla world speaking that is. Our economy is much larger than the size of the population, land areal of whatever might suggest. Same with tech, think ASML, the only company in the world that produces machines essential for making the latest computer chips. But when it comes to discovering kink in a safe, sane and friendly environment, it's a different story altogether.

Like I argued before there is nothing wrong with visiting a professional dominatrix. Au contraire, your first visit will most likely be a wake up call. For most it goes something like this: what took me so long? The not so lucky few discover pain and submission are not for them. The hard way. Either way, congratulations, if you can, follow your passions its the only way to live.

However, before you visit a professional dominatrix it might be wise to see if her skills and your interests align. Would be a shame if you never got seduced by the Dark Side just because you didn't do your homework. Of course a pro-domme is a pro so there is some flexibility when it comes to areas of interest but overall, be smart and find out beforehand. The most horrible thing that can happen to any slave is to turn their back on femdom forever because of that first session.

Sadly, over the years, many well-known, highly regarded professional dominatrices and dungeons have disappeared. To say we're spoiled for choice in 2025 is a stretch, a big one. Especially when you're not the perfect slave, take me for instance. If I were to book a session right now, I wouldn't know who to call. Doesn't mean there are no great dommes in the Netherlands, it's just hard to connect with the right one.

DP: the house with the Ferrari red sun screens

More bad news is on the way. A while back I read about Domination Palace, a large dungeon in the southern part of the Netherlands, close to the Belgian border, that is closing down. The owner ran Domination Palace for some 30 years. Now in his early seventies, Paul has been diagnosed with cancer. Battling the disease takes all his energy, which has forced Paul to close down the dungeon after over some 10.000 visitors. That decision not only impacts Paul, the clients of Domination Palace but also the dommes who work there. I've never visited the place but it makes me truly sad to see a safe haven, another icon of professional female domination in the Netherlands, disappear.

Immunotherapy has revolutionized cancer treatment for at least the last ten years. Definitely not a miracle cure but it has massively enlarged oncologists' toolboxes all around the world. Yes, cancer is still often a fatal disease, but not as frequent as it used to be because of immunotherapy offering a glimpse of hope. I know of several people, all stages in life, who did recover from cancer. It's definitely not a given, but at least you have a fighting chance.

My heart goes out to Paul, owner of Domination Palace, and everyone who is fighting cancer, wishing you strength, courage and all the best.

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Notes

[1] Let's talk statistics. One in three people get diagnosed with cancer somewhere in their lives.

[2] Remember Coral Korrupt? Corall was an American pro-domme who passed away from cancer some years ago. Despite being a well-known domme she had to start a Go Fund Me campaign for her medical treatment. Luckily in the Netherlands, like many countries, health care is universal. We all pay a fixed monthly amount for health insurance which, in return, covers all your bills in case you get ill. Those below the poverty line get compensated by the government. When it comes to your health, or that of your kids - in a fair and just society - money shouldn't be the final arbiter of who lives and who dies.

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I Logged Into Fetlife

Again

[OK, last time was long ago]

"I bought 1.100 euro stuff on Temu/Ali/Fet, [1] let's see how good it is. Go on Youtube and get bombarded with titles like this. Not only zero orginality but also boring to the max.

Social media have never been my thing. Desperately 'liking' whatever someone else posts? No, thank you. Don't worry that ain't gonna happen. At least not right away. Dutch forgot his password. That's odd, even before I remember I don't remember my password, Fetlife already seems to know who I am. Why else say 'Welcome home, we've missed you big time. Does that mean Fetlife is tracking me even when I'm logged out. Or is it that they are lying to me and greet everyone who logs in like this. Or is it only those with an IP adress from the Netherlands, which might be a good thing, I agree. Still. 

And Facebook is the most popular book ever written.

"We've missed you?"Guess the feeling isn't mutual. Oops.

Being on the naughty list makes you lose face in 'our' community dear Fetlife.

Still trying to verify. Just because.

Resetting my password is more difficult than it seems. Apparently Fetlife is in a bad place of it's . The site is blacklisted in Peter Lowe's add and tracking server list, which usually means the website you're heading for is dodgy at best. Let's risk it. I take the plunge and am rewarded with a new follower. Number two or so I guess. What have I done to deserve this. Naughty Andre - not to be confused with Andre 3000 - started following me somewhere in the last 111 months or so. Nobody knows why, certainly not Mr. Naughty himself. Andre is around my age but with more hair, hippy style. Funny thing his hair is black. He also sports a beard, a grey one - one colour of that. Andre's other stats are

Straight
Pronouns - He/Him
Active
Curious And Want To Try
Looking for - Long-term Relationship
Relationship
Play Partner
Mistress
Dominant
Friendship
Community
Events

So, looking for relationships, long-term relationships, community and events? All I can tell my new best fetastic friend: keep on trucking, I mean looking. Now let's try Facebook. Dutch is old enough to know that's where the really cool stuff is. You don't fool me.

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Face the Music

Het Goede Doel - Belgie

Saturday evening and I'm make dinner as we speak. Silly music on the radio. Really? Of course not, one of my all-time favourite songs is playing: Belgie. The band's name is Het Goede Doel [the Charity] and they are wondering where once can hide. And remember this is the mid 1980's when Dutch was still little. Turns out Belgium is the only place they seriously consider. The person who wrote this must have been really smart because Belgium is, was and always will be an excellent choice. Lovely song too.

Goede Doel - Belgie [click to listen]

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1053

It's been 1.053 days since Russia invaded Ukraine. These past three years keep on reminding me of the beginning of the Second World War.

In March 1938, Austria became a part of Germany in the Anschluss. Ater that Hitler's Nazi Germany eyed the Sudetenland region of Czechoslovakia. " With three million ethnic Germans, the Sudetenland represented the largest German population outside the Reich[98] and Hitler began to call for the union of the region with Germany." Any similarity with the Russian arguments for invading Ukraine are not accidental. In the end Britains's Parliamentary "Foreign Policy Committee chose to advocate that Czechoslovakia be urged to make the best terms it could with Germany. All the rest is history. Like the trip British Prime Minister Chamberlain took to Germany in September of 1938, returning 'triumphantly', rambling about peace in our time. Whose peace? What does peace even mean if you cannot choose freely and of your own will. History has the nasty habit of repeating itself if you don't study it's lessons.

Slava Ukraini.

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Notes

[1] Promise, one day I'm gonna write about the elven coolest things on Temu under 11 euro's that are perfect for your dungeon. One day, don't hold your breath. 

[2] Last time Dutch logged onto Fetlife was in 2018. Fetlife was already dead then. At the time I was greeted by a happy note that said 'it's verification time baby."  Naive, silly and not in the interest of 'our' community. Tells you all.

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When the Jerry Springer Show Dominated Talk TV

Yes, technically it is a 'talk' show

#NeverNormal forever

Outrageous guilty pleasure? You mean the Jerry Springer Show, don't you?

Netflix has a new two-part documentary out about the Jerry Springer Show, the talkshow that changed it all. Soon after it's launch in 1992 the program seemed headed for oblivion, being just one of many talkshows on television. In order to save the show, in 1994 it changed into what can only be called a freak show.  Adultery and other relationship issues were now the norm and the supposed solution was to solve it with your fists, live on stage. When deemed necessary producers baited guests to slug it out. Cheating and strippers were common but the show is most remembered for bizarre episodes such as I left my wife and daughters to marry a horse. Another episode featured a woman who cut of her legs because she didn't feel she needed them anymore. And of course there were always the confrontations but no limits.

"Springer was born in the London Underground station of Highgate in 1944 in World War Two. His parents, who were Jewish refugees from a region of Germany which is now part of Poland, were in the station sheltering from a German bombing raid at the time." In one episode the program "pitted members of the Ku Klux Klan against members of the Jewish Defence League in a debate, which devolved into a physical brawl." Mr. Springer passed away in 2023. In the musical Jerry Springer: The Opera, which ran from 2003 to 2006, "the talkshow host ends up in hell after being shot by a nappy-wearing fetishist aiming at the KKK."

Foot fetish on the Jerry Springer Show

Adult baby fetish on the Jerry Springer Show

Food fetish on the Jerry Springer Show

The Jerry Springer Show ran for 27 years and there isn't a fetish or taboo that wasn't discussed. There were food fetishes, foot fetishes, lots of them ["I love feet, don't leave me], adult babies, men who love diapers and of course several episodes featuring dominatrixes. In "Attack of the Tattoed People" submissive Randy's secret is revealed to his wife who goes on to beat his dominatrix mistress to a pulp. No doubt Randy loved being humiliated on TV. The one that everybody remembers is the mother-daughter dominatrix duo. [1] Of course their slave is brought out and they play with him, the women seem to genuinely enjoy it, only for his girlfriend to come out and berate him. "No, no, no. If you're gonna be anybody's bitch you're gonna be my bitch." Either this guy is extremely lucky or the episode is scripted. By someone who has an intimate knowledgde of BDSM.

Mistress Mommy approves.

Sometimes everybody wins on the Jerry Springer show. A young woman graduates in about three months from college. This is my last chance to experiment and be wild she worries. She has a girlfriend and also a crush on another woman. She is desperate for "hot kinky sex". Of course the show not only brings out her crush but also her girlfriend. For once  on Jerry Springer everybody goes home happy.

Final thoughts. If a slave prepares himself for a session, e.g. by using soap or shaving where it counts, why do women seem to forget to ready themselves for the Jerry Springer Show? Tie your hair in a knot, because that's what girls always go after first in a fight. And whatever you do, don't wear a dress or high heels. Take care everyone.

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Face the Music

Cyril - Stumbling In

One of the biggest hits of 2024 is Stumbling In by Cyril. The Australian DJ has a knack for remixes. In fact his version of Stumbling In is full of samples from the original by Suzi Quatro & Smokie singer Chris Norman (1978).

Cyril - Stumbling In [click to listen]

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1050

Incredible, after almost three years after Russia invaded Ukraine, we still don't support Ukraine the way we should. Meanwhile we let Russian spy ships trash cables and other vital infrastructure. We're not naive, the West is stupid.

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Notes

[1] To be honest, it feels a lot like mum is dominating her daughter too.

[2] Look at those episode titles, someone clearly did a brilliant job. How about 'We're practicing for porn', 'She signed the side chick contract' or 'Open Marriage Causes Chaos' [who could've guessed?]. As for "You Can't Pet My Snake No More", I haven't seen it but it's probably not what you think it is. "He Plays with Toys While She Plays with His Friend" sounds a lot like Dumb & Dumber Part III. If you think that's silly, how about "Stripper Sex Turned Me Straight"? "Talk to the Hot Dog" is the sort of title only a guy can come up with. Very funny though. How about "Nacho Man"? Don't ask, not a clue. Somebody is clearly not into chastity: "Sex is my favourite sport". "Surprise, she's cheating on you". What surprise, it's the Jerry Springer Show. "Lesbians wrestling in apple sauce". Whatever. And before I share the last one, please remember I'm not a die-hard researcher, so I selected these by looking at the titles on Youtube. How 'bout "Dropping Truth Bombs"? On Jerry Springer. Really?

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