No! Not again.
Gwyneth Paltrow wants to sells your kid sex toys for Father's Day.
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Yes it's Tina Turner. Live in the Netherlands in 2000. I'm so glad you
didn't expect to see a picture of that other woman. [3] Only the best.
It's that simple. |
Remember Gwyneth Paltrow? Yes, me too. Mrs. Paltrow is the woman who was awarded $1 in damages after jurors who found her not liable for a 2016 ski crash. But you mean that other other thing, don't you. Stop it, no Christmas music until September at least. As for Goop's shopping suggestions, yes for 30K you can buy an entire dungeon, rather than a measly bondage chair for the unlucky few. Don't think they sold any of them.
Not sure if that means business is slow for Goop but the mother, actress and entrepreneur increasingly comes across as desperate. With Father's day just around the corner there's money to be made. Read the Goop's Guide to Father’s Day.
"Gift categories for dads, brothers, uncles, boyfriends, and husbands have not seen much in the way of innovation. But rather than reinvent this wheel, we decided it would be more fun to goop the sh*t out of it."
First of all mind your language lady. Even if the stock image of a couple and their lovely child was taken 18+ years ago. Secondly, how much pocket money do you think the average 11-year old makes. Or are you advocating a return to child labour Mrs. Paltrow?
If my kids were to give me a 250 euro note book to record my dreams I'd open it anxiously. Let's see if there's a drawing inside I can put on the fridge. But 250 euro for a couple of blank pages in bondage?
Then there is the Therabody Theragun Elite for $399.00. After reading the description I still don't get it. It's a powerful percussive massage that makes only as much noise as an electric toothbrush. And what's a Hugo anyway? No, forget that. Is a Hugo an appropriate present for your six-year old to give for Father's Day? What's a Hugo you ask? A vibrating butt plug. And it only costs 200 dollars.
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| Who is your Hugo? |
If Father's Day is anything it's a family holiday where your daughter lets go of mom's hand so she can run towards Dad's car to say hello to her pappa. With lots of hugs. For no reason. Or two boys slugging it out with big, fancy words neither of them understands to show the other their father is the best. And yes they're both right. But this, this Hugo thing?
Greed is good dear Goop, just make sure you're greedy about stuff money cannot buy. This, this is wrong.
PS, thanks to The Guardian newspaper for their review. Again.
Face the music
Tina Turner. Simply the Best.
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Tina Turner in an interview circa 2021, two years before her death. |
You know what's truly sad? This one comment on Youtube.
"Tina Turner's comeback hit back in 1983, I was in London and they kept playing this hit all over the radio. I'll never forget it. Didn't hit the American soil til 1984. Truly admire this lady for her survival and how she endured."
And not just because the author should have phrased it differently. Endured? Survival? In her 1986 autobiography I, Tina, the singer writes about the domestic violence she endured by her ex-husband Ike Turner. As if before 1983 it was OK to slap your woman around to make her come to her senses. Some people should never be near to a keyboard again, unlike this lady:
"This was my wedding song in 1985. The marriage didn't go the distance but this song certainly has!"
Tina Turner passed away a few days ago at the age of 83. If you're American you may not realize but she is at least as big as Madonna in Europe, perhaps even bigger. Dutch has several favourite Tina Turner tracks. In the end it was between Private Dancer and What's Love Got To Do With It. Guess the old Al Green song won. For no apparent reason.
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Tina Turner - Let's Stay Together [1983] [click to listen] |
457
It's not exactly the Oxford comma, but there's a difference between Ukraine and the Ukraine. The latter is an insult to Ukraine. Native journalist Olena Goncharova broke it down for Foreign Policy in 2019, three years prior to the Russian invasion. "The" is a colonial legacy from the Soviet era. "It [the] is inappropriate and disrespectful for Ukraine and Ukrainians." "This issue does not come up in Ukrainian nor does it in Russian. Both languages lack the definite article: “the.”
On the 457th day we're still counting.
[1] Also don't hand the Hugo remote to your kids. Grown ups these days.
[2] As for today's image, you did not really expect me to put up a picture Goofy, Greedy Goopy up there, now did you. Simply the best, so take a hint.
[3] Or - introducing our latest, not so cool villainess - Evil E, AKA Elizabeth Holmes
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