Of Queens, Art & Irony - Why Are We Afraid of Sex?

In this second half of my short series discussing queen Elizabeth making a former sex worker a dame, I wonder why is the West is so petrified of sex. Most likely answer? Religion.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why is there so much hate?
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
 (image: mistress Chiaki)

Some days my typewriter is more willing than others. For quite some time I've wanted to write about the similarities between pro-dommes who stand out and geishas, traditional Japanese female entertainers, but my keyboard says no. Geishas are also called geikos (芸妓), which translates specifically as "Woman of Art."

It was the word "art" that triggered me. Look around, pleasure is art, happiness even more so. Don't believe the commercial hype, more stuff won't get you to the nirvana of pleasure. Worse, act like a good consumer and the gates of pleasure are forever closed to you. Even IKEA confessed how the Western world had finally reached peak-consumption. They said people didn't need any more Bøndågg© bed frames. Meanwhile the Scandinavians mourned how are our houses are so crammed with useless stuff, pot, kettle anyone, that the flatpack empire cannot force any more new furniture down our throats.

Read the business section of any newspaper and whenever a company, say Apple under Steve Jobbs, is extremely successful, the CEO becomes bigger than life. It is no longer his skill set that makes the company great, but his mojo. Magic is not sexy in the 'rational' world of haute finance, so people call it art. Wrong, because these managers are usually one-trick ponies. When answering the distress call of a another company, they generally fail.

Remember what Paltego wrote about sexy images on the net? Online porn is estimated to be one third of all internet traffic, meaning big business. Many respectable companies such as banks and internet service providers make tons of money from it. Despite that they look down on it, at the same time setting up untraceable shell companies for dictators who not only robbed their people blind, but also killed those trying to prevent the looting.

Art is whatever you want it to be. Now imagine somebody who pays to be submissive, a classic kink contradiction. And yes that is also part stab at findom. Creating that unique headspace in a few hours or less, to me, is art. By itself, consensual kink, as opposed to sadism and narcissism, is about striking a balance that nourishes the needs of both players, without sacrificing their humanity.

“Even when she's dethroned by hardship,
she still wears the sun as a crown.”
- Curtis Tyrone Jones

Each and every respected pro-domme encounters new slaves on a regular basis, the great majority of them enjoy their visit. Time and again. These mistresses are respected because they constantly deliver. Yes, it's an awful business term, but it tells the truth better than anything else. To deliver under wildly varying conditions is also art. The kind of art that brings incredible happiness. Despite that unique skill, people look down on pro-dommes because they are sex workers.

So how did we get here? A recent book (September 2017) by Catherine Nixey discusses the rise of Christianity in the early ages of the Common Era. Its ascend not only wiped out most of the ancient world, but also forced upon the Western World a new - extremely restricted - sexual morale. The idea is not new, but it is argued well. Before Christianity sex was something to be enjoyed, but the new religion turned things upside down. Sex - and more broadly speaking happiness and pleasure - became the devil personified to such an extent that in some texts early Christian texts even the word "girl" was censored. If that reminds you of anything today, remember Christianity got there first. Not something to be proud of.

Even though the book's main focus isn't on the Church and sex, it clearly shows how our "modern" views on sex continue to be heavily influenced by the words and actions of those first Christians. Just think of the different standards when it comes to sex between Western and non-Western cultures. Mistress Chiaki, a Japanese pro-domme, currently visiting Residenz Avalon in Berlin, doesn't it say in so many words, but her comment confirms the difference in attitude:

"As I come from a country that has no limits to kinky fantasies, I am open to your weirdest desires (if they don’t go against my limits)."

Two millennia after the new religion of Christianity starts its rampage of the classical world, the head of the Church of England speaks out, such irony. The British queen is one of the very few people in this world who cannot be blamed if she doesn't understand the real world. More irony. That unenviable position makes it even more impressive when her majesty expresses her opinion the way only she can, making a former sex worker a dame as part of her birthday honours. Yet more irony.

If I am correct, the Japanese word for domme is queen. Too much irony? Not a chance.