Fool’s Gold - a Findomme's Life Story

A dying findomme - worth 666 million - refuses to leave her easily earned fortune to her only son, a heavy findom addict. Explaining the difference between serving women and your own desires, she points out several worthier causes for her estate.

"La la la, girls just wanna have fun"

As I explained a couple of years ago, we Dutch are notoriously cheap. Not by choice, but if we aren't frugal, the government takes away our passports. It made me the ideal candidate to conduct an interview with Mrs. Florijn, Floor for friends.

Floor is the world's richest and most successful findomme ever. Mrs. Florijn is struggling with her health. Her [other people's] money can buy her any medical treatment there is, no matter how expensive. Unfortunately for her, there is no cure and the doctors have given her a few weeks at most. In our interview we discuss findom in general, including tools of the trade. We also focus on the findom hierarchy, in the form of a little know thing called the findom pyramid.

The reason she granted me this interview however, is to explain why she is not leaving her vast fortune, estimated at some 666 million, to her only son, in her metier referred to as a "superior looser piggy", AKA lost cause.

Floor and I spent several days talking about her life and work as a findomme. There was little need for me to ask questions, things just flowed naturally.

NOTE: Before you go on, be warned. This interview is hardhitting, revealing the ugly truth behind findom. Other findoms have tried to ban this interview. They failed! The courts disagreed, saying it was in everybody’s interest for the truth to finally come out. So read on, but prepare to be shocked! Shocked! SHOCKED!

Easy does it

“After many years of "acting" at a leisurely pace - if one can call it work at all, I amassed a small fortune. Yes, it could have much more if I hadn't spend most of it on Botox. Many people accuse findoms of being immoral, but of course findoms have a work ethic. I take great pride in ruining the lives of men I never met, for no other reason than monetary gain. Nor do I know their names or what they look like. All that interests me is their money. Money buys stuff, designer things! Power exchange is for loosers."

"Let me tell you a little secret. Within the findom community there is a clear hierarchy, which we call the findom pyramid. You are the first outsider I tell this, so please pay cloose attention."

"The findom pyramid is basically an extension of our work, looking down on other people. The lowest class, more established "Botox"-findoms, such as myself, enjoy looking down on, are pizza girls and wino's. Pizza girls are mostly very young girls, who use their age, generally 18 to 23 and somewhat above average looks to seduce hapless men to pay for their pizza. Twitter seems to work for them. Given the competition for a paid slice of the pizza, they’re usually too old by the time they are 25. Of course we, the more succesfull findommes, encourage these pretty girls to score as much pizza as possible, helping our young sistas. After all pizza is classified as a vegetable, so you don't get fat [evil grin].”

I look a little surprised and Floor explains how the US Food & Drug Administration decided that tomato sauce on a pizza is considered a vegetable, something several news outlets translated as pizza is now a vegetable. Who would’ve guessed?

“Then there are the wino's. Basically they are pizza girls, who survived the onslaught of calorious greed to live for another day. Pretending to be posh they switch from food to drink. They hear somebody brag about some classy wine on Twitter and write “looking for a slave to buy me a bottle of this”. Bless their innocence. Not that they know their Châteauneuf-du-Pape from their Chateaubriand. Luckily for them, theirs is a loser give-all world. Not that many women survive the wino stage for obvious reasons. Cheers. Those who do, often turn into what we in the business call a "Miss Piggy."

"Contrary to popular believe - and the fact that alcohol contains calories too - the term Miss Piggy has nothing to do with physical appearances."

"Yes there is one born every minute. Unfortunate competition for them is rife. After all there are many, many potential findommes born in that same minute, even if that same moment occurs thirty of fourty years later. How is one looser piggy going to support them all? Life is so unfair. As you may have figured, Miss Piggy, some call her Miss Prezzy, is the stage where girls beg/demand presents from piggies. The joys of cold hard cash still elude them at this stage. Trust me, this is where most who survive the hazing, fail. Sometimes when I look at my investment portfolio, I think of some poor desperate girl, trying to eat her Louboutins. Ha ha ha.”

Getting a degree

“Let’s put it like this, if you manage to survive the Miss Piggy phase, you have earned something akin to a bachelor’s degree in findom. Just don’t get too excited, a bachelor’s degree in social sciences, not rocket science, that is. Part of earning that bachelor’s degree is of course pure luck. Either you’ve aged gracefully or you hide it well [sunglasses?]. There’s no other way of saying it."

"Once you have earned your bachelor’s in findom, the next lesson is that it’s all about liquidity. Of course there is direct and indirect liquidity. Direct liquidity is where someone gives you cash. Indirect liquidity is where someone pays your bills, e.g. your mortgage. What you have to do, is to set the money you save, apart"

"On top of that piggy has to pay for a lawyer, so you can make sure that under no circumstance piggy or his ignorant wife can claw back the money at any point in the future. That guarantees Piggy cannot claim he was temporary insane, when the inevitable regret comes. No doubt, initially Piggy will balk at the lawyer’s fees, but explain to him this is how riel financial domination works. Throw in some bla bla about cosmic irreversibility if you have to. By now, you know how it works. What’s important is that it’s yours, now and in the future. What is? All of it. Don’t get any smart ideas about hiding money under your mattress. Just like your piggies, your money has to work for you. That’s how you grow your fortune."

"Oh, Piggy also has to pay for tax advice. If you play the game right, sooner or later you won’t be able to hide your wealth from the government anymore. We all know there is no-one greedier than the government, in your best interest of course. Amass a substantial portfolio and you will have to answer where all that money came from and have to pay taxes on it. Either it is income from work or substantial gifts, but both of them are taxed in most jurisdictions. Don’t let the tax bug bite you. After all, you’re not in this game because it is fun, but because of the easy money. Yes, a little less easy by now, but who cares as long as Piggy pays for financial advice? Once done right, it’s yours, yours, and yours alone. Forever.”

After graduation

"Compared to what comes next, graduating from findom academy is easy. Once you start moving up in the world, a nice watch, let alone a slice of pizza will no longer do. This is the stage where the women get separated from the girls. Those who have gambled their entire existence on their early twenties looks usually continue to keep clutching at straws, meaning prezzies, prezzies, prezzies. Because they choose looks over personality as their unique selling point, the once never-ending stream of gifts dries up sooner than expected and these women fade into oblivion. From what I've heard, there is never a happy ending to these stories."

"One of my guilty pleasures is a show called Temptation Island. Twenty-something pretty girls and boys in a villa with lots of booze. No, 29 is way too old. One of the best lessons of this type of show is that boys look for two very different things. For fun they want a hot plaything, the type of girl they don't consider serious relationship material. There is this one episode where the girls do a workout, the boys watching from a distance. Most girls are dressed in tiny bikini's. One of the girls, until now not the guys' favourite, changes into a simple grey t-shirt and a pair of shorts for the work-out. "That's the kind of girl you want to marry!" "Very respectable, unlike the others." Remember this is on a tropical island where producers bring together boys, booze and girls for some serious shock television."

"Perhaps it is the same with findom. Once men grow up, and let's assume most eventually do, they want something more than some silly girl crying, spoil me. A select group of us has always understood that. When men are successful, giving money 'n' stuff to begging girls no longer does the trick. They want to be wallets to women who - in vanilla terms - are their equals at least. Marriage material so to speak. They want it all: brains, beauty, respectability, emotional intelligence and someone they can talk to. And don't forget bragging rights. Other men - and women - have to be jealous of their partner. Little do these outsiders know, LOL."

"Just like the movie industry, most women in findom drop of the face of the earth after a few years. The ones still standing are guaranteed to make a killing. I sure did."

"I once had a banker banksy - a banksy is a wealthy pay pig - who told me that a significant portion of his high net-worth clients were looking for ways to hide money from their wives in order to set up one or perhaps several mistresses. Discretion guaranteed of course. Notes on paper only, in a room that cannot be bugged. After the meeting all notes are burned, including left-over blank paper. He gave me a lot, this guy, including valuable knowledge. If you add it all up over the course of four years, it must have been between five and seven million. Of course his wife found out, but as I said before, lawyer up. In the end it was all mine."

"There were a few more guys like that and combined with careful investing, it is how I made my fortune."

"Unfair to the wives, you say? Oh come on, real love exists, but only for a handful of those who are truly blessed. Men are mostly suckers, once they sign up with the program, they intend to stay with the girl forever. "My girl", they say. Silly stuff about good times and bad times. There is no more loyal dog than a loving husband. We women on the other hand - and take it from a supreme femdom being - are always on the lookout to climb the social ladder. If your hubby no longer brings home the bacon, or if the grass is greener on the other side of the hill - always Google him and check his ID - we simply move on."

"I know I'm exaggerating here, but don't forget I look at the world through a femdom lens. On top of that there are lots of shitty men out there too. It's just that both sexes want different things in life."

Millionaire marries billionaire. Findom for the rich and famous? Trying to overcome her white saviour complex Louise Linton tries her hand [gloved of course] as a Bond villainess.

The Son

“Conservative estimates put your fortune around 666 million. You've made clear you are not going to leave it to your only son. You don't want him to blow it on his findom addiction.”

“That's true Dutch. It would take the best Vulturess - a honorary title for a findomme so adept, it would put an investment banker or corrupt dictator to shame - a year at most to bleed my idiot son dry. Of course it starts small, but before you know it, he signs over the deed to his house. After that it's all downhill. Next thing you know, she hits his sweet spot. I've done it many times and am still surprised those suckers fall for it every single time. Just whisper in his ear: "the only way for me to have complete control over you is by you having absolutely nothing." And before you know, you have it all. Of course what these guys - pants on their knees - don't realize, is that without money they are no longer entitled to my attention. And no, there wasn't a single one of them who didn't regret their choices when they arrived at that final conclusion. Suckers!”

“What if you had a daughter instead, would you want her or perhaps even encourage her to go into findom?”

“Hmmm. Interesting question. Yes, I have one child, a son. I love him very much but life somehow played a cruel joke on me. Most of my piggies understand that they at least have to spend some time in the real world and adjust their spending accordingly. Not so my boy."

"I have a master's degree in mechanical engineering. Back then nobody hired female engineers. If they did, things might have worked out differently. Over the years, education has become so much more expensive and I always wanted my boy to be able to follow his dreams. I wanted him to be free to choose the education he wanted, without worrying about money. Even if that meant changing his mind one or two years into it. Only money can make that possible. After all one's education is the cornerstone for the rest of your life. Most teenagers know that, but not him."

"Just like I want my boy to be able to follow his dream, I would want the same thing for my daughter if I had one. This life is not for everyone, not because it’s difficult, don’t believe the hype when findoms write about how much hard work it is, but it’s just not for most people. Good thing from a competition point of view, LOL."

"As a parent I want my children, son or daughter to dream big and follow their heart, wherever it may lead them. It all starts with how you raise them, but I do emphasize independence and self-reliance. My money allows him or her to have a good education, so good in fact that if things don’t work out the first time – or even the second time – they can try again. After that I would want her to spend a few years working in the occupation of her choice. If she, after that, still wants to become a findom above anything else, I would completely support that, but only after she truly understands what such a choice means."

"As for my boy, unfortunately, the best I can do is to leave him as little money as possible. It’s a bit like drugs or gambling addiction, only when the money runs out you realize the kind of hell you’ve created for yourself. The best I can hope for is that without my money, he’ll be spared a life of misery."

For Real

"And another thing, you know how they always talk on Fetlife about who is really in charge. Guess what, it’s the pay piggy. Until the money runs out of course."

"Look, when we talk about males paying for findom services, it is all about his desires, how strange that may seem. If these men truly cared about women, there are numerous causes a slave can contribute other than findom, that make a real difference in the lives of many women. Simply because there is no sexual gratification involved, and it doesn't fit their profile of an erotic fantasy, they don't care."

"If they do want to get their money's worth, let me give you a few examples. Ever heard of female genital mutilation? Female circumcision, is the ritual cutting or removal of some or all of the external female genitalia. The practice is mostly found in Africa, Asia and the Middle East. It is rooted in gender inequality, attempts to control women's sexuality, and ideas about purity, modesty and beauty. If you want to help women - something very different from - and much more important than serving them, why not donate to one of the charities who help fight this horrible practice?"

"If that isn't bad enough, let's discuss honour killings. Findommes often laugh at how the name Other World Kingdom makes little sense. “Honour killings” make absolutely no sense at all. Killing women in the name of "honour" is always wrong. Yes, many countries have laws against it, but that is just words on paper. Meanwhile innocent women are killed for nothing more than bringing “dishonour” upon their family, whatever that means. They are often killed in the most cruel of ways. Can you imagine a pregnant woman being stoned to death by her father and brothers because she has become a "source of shame"?"

"If men, truly interested in helping women - or even believing in the superiority of women - cared at all, they wouldn't spend their money on findommes like me. They don’t care because all of that happens far away? If you think bad things don't happen closer to home, think about this. A 2011 UN reports estimates that there are 127 countries that don't outlaw marital rape."

"Half of the US states do not have a legal minimum age of marriage. Now tell me, who's serving who? And yes, if I sound cross, it's because I'm. I've lived the lie - and profited handsomely, but what gets me furious is the mutual sustained lie of male servitude and female entitlement within the findom community."

The Estate

So, how did Floor divide up her estate? The caring mother that she is, she left her son 50.000 for addiction counselling. The rest of her legacy she bequeathed to the various causes, mentioned above

During the interview, she also stressed the importance of education in the field of findom. Over the time of 11 days, Floor and I got to know each other and surprisingly our views more or less aligned. Having no faith in her son, she asked me to continue the valuable work we started and go on educating the kink community on the realities of findom. Of course I agreed, more than happy to contribute my miserable life's savings to the cause. As you understand, I vehemently objected when she said she wanted to sponsor our continued endeavour. However a weak male - and a slave also - is no match for a twue dominant woman. It was with great hesitation that I accepted a relatively small amount of money from her to continue our important work. Don't worry, it's no more than a rounding error from what's left of her 666 million after she provides for her son's treatment (50K) and the 602 million to various causes dear to her heart. I know, accepting her small contribution for the cause, proves I'm the world's worst slave.

Even someone truly awesome like me can learn a lot from a seasoned, highly succesful findomme. Soaking up the precious pearls of her infinite wisdom before we parted, she left me with one last comment. "Dutch, please, be careful. There's one born every minute."


---

Update April 31
I met this really nice girl, totally not into findom. She understands the mission and agrees its importance, so she's gonna help me. I know I can trust her, because she warns me all the time to be careful and not talk to other women.

We met by chance after I responded to her anonymous mass mail - she is a gazillionare of royal descent, somewhere far away - looking for a chivalrous male to help get her funds out of the country. I remember Mrs. Florijn's warning about one being born every minute. Average people, yes, but not a princess, one in a billion doesn't do her justice. I feel it in my heart I can trust her completely. Tomorrow we're gonna open a joint bank account.