Douchebag Dom Wants New Sub to Kick Out Current One

Collar Me folded in 2014 to be replaced by Collar Chat. As usual I'm a bit slow, so today for the first time I visited the site and while there were many hilarious conversations, one stood out. Not because it was funny but because of how sad it was.

Classic Namio Harukawa

In one of the threads a male dom wonders how to dismiss a submissive:

1. I agreed to let a female submissive to live with me.
2. In our agreement, she will lose 30 pounds.
3. I've tried everything possible but she hasn't lost one pound!!
4. I want her to get out but she says she loves me.
5. How do I get her out?

I'm currently seeking for another female submissive to move in. Hopefully she can kick her out.

The first thing you realize is just how absurd that last line is. A dom who can't get his sub to move out and hopes his new slave girl will do the job for him. Are you kidding? That alone is enough to disqualify him as a dom forever. But it is just the beginning. How about forgetting the whole dom/sub thing for a moment and act as a human being? Show some decency. The way I read it, the poor girl is nothing more than his personal fetish delivery system. How about talking to her like a grown-up and be honest with her? Yes break-up conversations are hard, especially if you care about someone or have a shred of decency. Neither of this seems to be the case here, so why do you need your next submissive to kick her out? Instead the dom is whining on  a board: "how do I get her out?"

His initial post raises other questions as well. Saying "I agreed to let a female submissive to live with me" sounds like you are doing it out of the kindness of your heart, which obviously isn't true. For her to move in with him, it must have been something they both wanted. As for "a submissive", it's not like he went grocery shopping and got himself a submissive girl because they were on sale this week. It sounds all very cold and detached.

The really bad stuff is where he says: "in our agreement she will loose 30 pounds." Something like that shouldn't be part of any agreement, but OK. It does make me wonder though why he took her in in the first place. She is clearly not his type.

A little later the OP writes:

"I agree that abuse does not equal domination but abuse can be part of domination. I'm not a jerk because I want to control how my partner looks. I want her to lose weight and she wants to lose weight. It's mutual consent. So what if I'm overweight? I'm 300 pound and I should weight 200 pounds. So what? This isn't about me. This is about her."

Stop the presses! This dom is seriously overweight and says he should loose weight yet can only complain about his sub not losing weight. His 100 pounds versus her 30 pounds and he still says it's about her not him, probably typing that while emptying a bag of crisps. It is about her, him and the two of them. He clearly never has heard of leading by example or nudging people in the right direction. I imagine a fridge stocked with fried chicken and cabinets filled with junk food and candy. To put it mildly: his house is a challenging environment to loose weight, especially when your partner/dom shows zero support. But hey it isn't his fault, it is hers.

Somewhat exasperated the disgusting dom tries to explain himself one more time:

1. I allowed her to move in with me about 6 months ago.
2. I've tried verbal abuse, physical punishment and humiliation
3. Nothing works and this is why I want to get rid of her

Loosing weight is difficult for most of us. Judging by the author's comments I think the poor girl never stood a chance. In order to make her loose the 30 pounds - whose idea was it anyway? - he tries verbal abuse, physical punishment and humiliation. Seriously? When did that ever work, humiliating someone in order to make them loose weight. It's the dumbest way to end up in a negative spiral and you probably scar her for life.

How about coming up with something positive, praise her when she looses weight and support her when she doesn't. Even better try and loose weight together. I personally wouldn't want to take this into the realm of D/s, but whatever option you choose, set an example yourself. Instead crybaby dom complains that nothing works and now wants to get rid of her (by way of his next victim kicking this one to the curb). He hasn't even tried.

Douchebag dom hasn't got a clue about what makes people tick and clearly he has not even the least bit of affection for this woman. It's like throwing out a toy that's broken, only she isn't a toy but a person and a few pounds more or less doesn't make her broken. She deserves better even if she is 'just' his sub. Just wait till he finds his next victim and she puts on a few pounds [stimulating environment and so on].

Clueless and a horrible person, that's what he is. This guy isn't a dom, I even doubt his humanity but above all he's dangerous. One commenter summs it up like this::

"End of the day, such women with esteem problems are precisely for predator dominants like him"

There is nothing wrong with curvy women, au contrair. They are beautiful. The only reason I would ever want someone to lose weight is for health reasons, which does make me feel guilty about my love for full figured women. I don't want my preferences to encourage an unhealthy lifestyle in others.