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| Watch and learn... |
For some reason, dommes are fond of dishing out advice. Some of it is good, some is bad and some simply selfish. Post with topics on how to approach a domme are fairly common. I'm always surprised as to why they write them. They broadly fall into two categories. The first one is on how to contact ME, in which case the title is misleading. The second one often has little to do with how to contact a dominant woman. Apparently some men still have to learn the basics on how to talk to women. Let me throw in some free advice: they are people, just like us men. That should get you started. It ain't that difficult, except for some men it is.
The number one complaint from dominant women is that they receive an almost daily avalanche of mails and messages from submissive mails that are utter nonsense - and that's putting it mildly. Most go something like this: I'm a horny slave and not really interested in who you are, but you fit my ultimate kink fantasy (for today), so why aren't you dominating me?
If you believe that works, you're probably a virgin as well. And you need to reconsider your sexual orientation - you're not the least bit submissive or slaverish. I won't get into the details of why it's stupid - there are enough dommes out there spelling it out for you - but it is worlds apart. Also literally.
I'm male and slave - my profile says so. Despite that I receive silly messages on a regular basis. I don't take 'm to seriously but can imagine that after number 200 the average domme gets frustrated.
The first example is one I received earlier this week through the contactform on this website.
"Miss, greetings! How do you do? My name is Ron, I am a doctor using my medical skills primarily for charity. I am also involved in a business that manufactures health related products. I am a submissive male and I desire to serve a genuinely dominant lady. I like female supremacy. I am sincere in my request and humble request you to consider me. I promise to serve you well. I am honest and willing to serve you unconditionally. Humbly waiting for your reply"
After reading this I cannot help but wondering that if I were a domme, why in the world would I be interested in slave Ron? Perhaps because he is such a great guy who donates his medical skills to charity. Maybe that's true, maybe it ain't. After all he also writes that he promises to serve me well. Good thing he's honest!
Clearly doctor Ron has little attention for detail, so let's hope he lives far, far away, which reduces the chance that he will ever have to operate on me. Where in the world does he live anyway? On top of that, I'm most certainly not a miss. In fact crossdressing and bi are some of my no-go areas. Free tip from a guy: a real slave is also aware of his limits. In the end I'm left wondering how many of these messages he sends out any given day. Perhaps he likes rejection.
Doctor Ron's message is at least comprehensible, something that cannot be said of the ramblings that Houchings dumped in my inbox:
"Mistress I love to eat u shut and drum u puss please send me a picture of u no lo assail in the moment u shut com out please as careful 1000 thank"
When you read stuff like this, you really feel sorry for people that have to wade through tons of this bullshit every day. But it doesn't stop there, why would it? On my Tumblr blog it is more of the same. Below an example from a user whom I call Sandwich.
"Hi mistress i need to be totally controlled by you is need to be trained in obedience and taught a lesson or two spank me and punish me as you wish I have just wet my pants thinking about you"
To make it even more obnoxious Sandwich included a picture, not of himself but of a domme. Why and what it means is unclear. Perhaps this is what he thinks I look like. If that's true, he's in for the surprise of a lifetime, I'm just an ugly guy! Or maybe this is how he wants me to dress up. LOL!
The volume of messages from desparate males is manageable, so I can brush it of with a smile, but serious guys, get your act together! Below are two more examples from my Tumblr blog for your entertainment.
Note:
Trust me, the world is better of without me as a dom. You would have to kneel in rice every day at sunrise, followed by long, long cold showers. Then there are the stress positions, also daily and multiple essays on a weekly basis on why you are such a twat.
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