Luxury Handbags. A Better Investment than the Stock Market?

I'm gonna share a secret with you. Just make sure mistress never finds out. The Hermès Birkin handbag has a better long-term return than the S&P 500. Still it is an ugly bag.

"The whole point was to take an icon of consumerism and change it, which is like blasphemy."
Make it idiot proof and somebody will make a better idiot. (Image: The Telegraph)

For the new year I decided to improve the quality of my blog. I began writing about serious stuff like Beauty & The Beast. There are many similiarities with Fifty Shades. Sometimes I feel life is one big cosmic joke. When I finished the post, I discovered the prince was eleven years old when the spell was cast.

Over years I have taken a stance against findom and overpriced luxury items - experiences are a much better investment - only to find out I am wrong. So very wrong.

Investments require a long term horizon. It is one reasons why I suggest hiring a certified financial planner. Well forget all about it. Forget everything you ever learned about managing your money. In fact sell of your entire portfolio. Forget about gold or Picasso's. It's futile.

According to Baghunter (yes, I know) the investment of a lifetime for your mistress is not collaring you as her slave. Neither is her ordering you to buy her that pair of Louboutins. The best investment ever is a handbag. No it is not Chanel. Don't even think of Louis Vuitton. It has to be Hermès. The Birkin bag to be exact, named after French actress Jane Birkin. On a flight she complained about missing pockets in her handbag to the man sitting next to her. It turned out to be the chief designer of Hermès,who swiftly promised the actress her own bag.That was in 1981. The bag has been unaffordable ever since.

Best investment ever, some say. (Image: Baghunter)

But don't worry just yet if you do not have the money. There is a six year waiting list. The only thing you have to do is to save up 10.000 dollar each year and in six years time it is all hers.

If you look at the bag, it is plain ugly. Perhaps it costs 60.000 dollars because it is made from premium animal skins. Who cares? What a waste. Just think of what a beautiful whip you can make from such quality leather. Hermès could flog it as "Nothing says premium pain like 6 years and 60.000 dollars"
Most owners recognize the fact it is an unappealing bag with a hefty price tage and give it a make-over. Not sure that is always a good idea. The Telegraph has a hilarious article on celebrities defacing their Hermès Birkin bags.

So the handbag rules. We already knew. If people look for the one in charge, they search for the woman with the handbag.

But investment grade? Am I buying it? Nope. Artificial shortage keeps prices high, just like the domme deficit allows women lacking in dominance to artificially express riel dominance.

My precious. Mine, mine, all mine. Now let me deface you. (Image: The Telegraph)