- It is (more or less) generally accepted that the number of men seeking a dominant female partner is about 20 to 1. What if the number of subs outnumbered the available dommes by the same margin? Would they treat them differently? Promise them more suffering (or less), would phenomena like poly and findom be marginalized or would the whole concept of femdom become marginalized because out of character reality clashes with in-character desires
- What if Leopold Sacher Masof would have lived today? Would he approve of Fifty Shades or do the first few pages make him grab his laptop and write a rebuttal. (You know the answer...)
- Are subs allowed to read Romeo & Juliet or should they read Britsh Prime Minister David Cameron's--the guy who outlawed "extreme" porn--approved"enhanced version" of Juliet & romeo?
- Not wanting to insult anyone but when it comes to BDSM and kink Japan tops it all (nope, my progress in Japanese is still zero). How does kink in Japan differ from BDSM in the West? Why?
Tokyo, so much kink behind those neon signs. - What is “real" servitude?" If a slave says “I’ll do anything for you mistress,” is he truly serving her to the best of his abilities. Can a slave truly serve his mistress if he never disobeys her?
- Kink brings it own social stratification and it often feels its unwritten rules impede love. Spontaneity is often frowned upon in d/s relationships. Yet Fetlife is filled with examples of happy marriages between kink and love. Are those unions of a temporal nature or will these bonds last when life and its challenges come knocking? To put it broader: does kinky love stand a chance in hell when faced with the world at large?
- Recently somebody copied a public person’s finger prints from a photo and used it to open some impenetrable lock. A few years ago software was already able to identify 60 percent of people in a German train station. Advances in digital technology will soon render privacy a memory of the past. Bad luck if you participated in a femdom movie a few years ago. Recursive algorithms will reveal your face, perhaps not today, but certainly in a few years time. Google glasses are only the beginning. What if the company that “does (no) do evil” invents contact lenses and you go to a femdom party? Or law enforcement that uses camera's that literally can see through walls. With technology encroaching upon privacy, what does it mean for the future of BDSM?
- Kinksters live inside a bubble, not realizing how much their desires deviate from the sexual preferences of most people. Some BDSM enthusiast hailed “Fifty Shades” as the next saviour, praying the books will lead to increased acceptance of alternate sexuality. The general trend however is much more conservative. Will E. L. James' novel be of help to the kink community or will it usher in a new era of secrecy and underground life styles?
- The nature vs nurture debate has raged for ever within the kink community. Personally I am the Lady Gaga type: "Born this way". Nothing bad ever happened to me, but when you browse for kink on the web, you cannot help but notice how many people recalling discovering kink after they endured sexual trauma. What does that say about the roots of BDSM and the relevance to its practitioners?
- Aren’t we all masochist? Love hurts. Especially when it doesn't work out. It hurts Badly. We all learned that lesson and still we allow our hearts to go outside, unsupervised. It does not matter whether you identify as masochist, sadist, domme or sub. We all fall in love and surrender to whatever direction our heart chooses. When love leaves town, the pain of missing our loved ones is a major cause for suffering, but more often the pain our loved ones endure--real or imagined--is what makes our life a living hell. Those are the moments when our life resembles bondage: love amplifies our pain. The more we love the more we suffer. Do our hearts makes masochists of us all?
- Some subs cherish a deeply held believe the other sex is superior in every imaginable way and often act accordingly. Most partners they encounter will take good care of them and perhaps even teach them a different gospel. Others however will exploit those feelings for personal gain. Where do you draw the line between consensual and exploitation. At what point does safe and sane become abuse?
one man's blog on femdom and bdsm. part of me. not all of me.
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Wednesday, April 22, 2015
11 Conundrums that beg writing about
Most listicles (don't worry, the word is a millenial folly) limit themselves to a single digit, but the wasteland of my mind is so vast I have no problem coming up with 11 topics to write about. Feel free to borrow but please send me a link.
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