Tuesday, October 15, 2019

"If Only I Had Listened To My Wife"


Well, that ain't gonna happen overnight. Being my wife, I mean. Every woman I meet these days has a full latex wardrobe, obviously. You have to bring something else to the table, something special that makes me sit up and listen. Until lightning strikes again, I read books, boring books. Books in Dutch. Stories about businesses that go bankrupt for instance.

Fifty-something guy opens clothing store in the Amsterdam business district, facing intense competition from established brands. Wrong place, wrong time but above all too stubborn. His wife cautions him over and over again. Hindsight proves her right, the store goes belly up and the author has to file for bankruptcy.

The book's title is well chosen, but without the cover image I'd never notice. Man on his knees, tip of his nose touching the floor. How much more femdom can it get? Meanwhile, the book's title hovers seductively over the image. "If only I had listened to my wife." Most likely a Freudian slip-up of colossal proportions by the art director.

And yes, the Dutch proverb "sticking one's head in the sand" means ignoring what is obvious. Sooner or later some creative genius somewhere in Holland has a lot of explaining to do to his wife.

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Ronald Gans - Had ik maar naar mijn vrouw geluisterd (2019), available here.

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