Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Stealing Her Happiness

Any man worth the name would give up his soul for the woman he loves. Unfortunately that is a far cry from the average slave who obeys his mistress. No matter how you look at it, love is superior. Always and forever.

Kink is not a choice, it is part of who you are. It's also one of many reasons why Fifty Shades is no more than just another silly novel. Unfortunately, we, the choosen ones, pay a price for our alternative sexual orientation. That price comes in many ways. Just think about the vast hoards of dommes roaming the hills and valleys of Fetlife for that one unicorn, they praise as the perfect slave. Meanwhile on the other side of them hills where the grass is inevitably greener, those very same slaves disown themselves in search of that one, last available siren, the woman they - one day - are privileged to call mistress.

Don't feel sad for us, we all are who we are. Moaning and groaning won't change a thing. Observers both outside and inside the femdom community have pointed towards the vast surplus of wannabe slaves in search of a domme. In previous posts I referred to it as the 20:1 domme deficit. That number never fails to wreak havoc on both dommes and subs alike. In the alternate reality of abundance, dommes forget what they are looking for and develop the "i want it all syndrome". Meanwhile even more desperate subs and slaves soon 'discover' they have absolutely zero limits. As a consequence any domme will do. The perfect ingredients for the mother of all femdom tragedies, on that even Shakespeare envies.

One of the lesser known effects of all this mayhem, is that, willingly or otherwise, the great majority of femdom aficionados slowly drift toward a single, unified, glorious utopia: the holy grail of a 24/7 TPE relationship. Don't believe me? Just browse Fetlife and look at all those desperate, uncollared slaves on offer - anything you want - to any prospective domme.

For the women it is a bit different. Initially overjoyed by the abundance of male slaves, they re-asses their needs upwards and upwards. Keeping up with mistress Jones becomes more important than listening to what their inner voice tells them. They stop deciding for themselves in what matters most.

Combined, it no longer matters who is the iceberg and who is the Titanic. Mistresses and slaves inexorably drift toward each other, raising the stakes time and again to beyond infinity. Of course the devil is in the underwater details...

No wonder so many of us turn our backs on kink, disillusioned. If you think kink is hard on those who quit, spare a thought for the few slaves that don't want to go all the way. These creatures are doomed from the start. And yes, I have to admit, I am one of them, though I never considered myself doomed.

Simply put, I was never attracted to the 24/7 TPE thing. Why? I don't know for sure, but one reason is probably because I was late to the party. Unlike most people, I realized long ago I was into kink. Despite that, it took me several decades to act upon it. Looking back, the only reason I can come up with is that my life was always good and full of fun. Terribly spoiled, I agree, but what can one do?

Being the lucky fellow that I am, once I joined the chorus, it didn't take long for the magic to happen. It felt - and still feels - a bit like winning the lottery, except that it isn't.

Imagine you can have all the kink in the world and then some. Add to that the stuff you're afraid to dream of and then something more. That's a lot of femdom, isn't it?

Now imagine, you fall in love with a woman who is as much into kink as you are, probably even more so. What happens next? Before you answer that, remember: boy and girl fall in love. Yet they are also mistress and slave. To most that's too easy. Mistress trumps woman and slave crawls lower than any man ever will. There is just one little problem. If boy loves girl, it ain't that easy. It never is.

Fortunately, unlike other men, for me it's not the slave who bows to the mistress, but the man who looses his heart to the woman. Forever and irreversible. Throw in some old-fashioned chivalry and you're doomed for life. Love, by any means, is a good thing. Unfortunately boy loves girl is not always compatible with slave obeys mistress.

I fear many things in life but my greatest fear is to deny the woman I love the world outside of kink, just because I twuly want to serve her. I. 24/7. Before you start to argue, please think about it for a moment.

Most of the time we experience life through a prism. And yes, every experience comes with a different prism. There is one for work, one for relationships, one for kink and one for days when it rains. That means everything we say and do is highly subjective. In a world full of prisms and Facebook now-you-see-it algorithms our key relationships should be unfiltered, some say real. Unfortunately the mistress-slave dynamic is simply one more filter. Feel free to disagree, but I strongly believe relationships between people that care for each other should be unfiltered, whether it is two siblings, friends or lovers.

On top of that I have this odd habit to wrap my arms around the woman I love whenever I feel like it - sometimes arms express more than a thousands yes mam's - and often touch her, which is perhaps the biggest no in kink ever. Why in the world should I not wrap my arms around her? Because of some fallacy that says a slave is not allowed to touch his mistress? Take it a little further and you will soon realize that by being her slave 24/7, TPE you are robbing yourself - and more importantly, her - of something priceless: the beautiful and deeply intimate connection that can only exists between two people for whom love holds no barriers.

If that isn't proof enough, I'm out of the game.


I loved you first: but afterwards your love
Outsoaring mine, sang such a loftier song
As drowned the friendly cooings of my dove.

Which owes the other most? my love was long,
And yours one moment seemed to wax more strong;
I loved and guessed at you, you construed me
And loved me for what might or might not be –
Nay, weights and measures do us both a wrong.

For verily love knows not ‘mine’ or ‘thine;’
With separate ‘I’ and ‘thou’ free love has done,
For one is both and both are one in love:
Rich love knows nought of ‘thine that is not mine;’
Both have the strength and both the length thereof,
Both of us, of the love which makes us one.

          - Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)

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